A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that some people in this world always think that just because there are other people also suffering in this world the problem that you have is nothing? Yes there are people in this world going through worse things that you and yes we are grateful for our blessings and yes we do thank god for what we have and appreciate t very mych. But that doesnt mean if something hurts i should keep it bottled up and not complain about it coz there are other people worse off. At that moment in time that is whats hurting "you" and thats what you are thinking about. People who have gone through bad things and are now fine seem to think that everyone else who is going through that now is whining and wallowing in self pity. Didnt they go through it and understand what its like? why do they wanna be all high and mighty as if they never needed help when they were in that situation and didnt "look around to see that there are people in worse things than them? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (11 May 2008):
 A person who points out that other people are worse off than you is not necessarily trying to belittle your pain.
I was once hurting badly. My (new) partner gave me the example of a person who was faced with a much bigger tragedy than mine. She wasn't dismissive of my concerns. She was genuinely sympathetic and genuinely trying to make me realise that my troubles weren't so big in the larger scheme of things.
I depends how they say it to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Hi Annon,
I think some people find it hard to offer advice but they want to help all the same, so they just say things like "just remember there are people out there suffering more than you" and "Just push it to the back of your mind and you'll feel better". But they cant help it they just dont know how to help, but they dont want you to think they dont care about you.
Now with regards to the comment you made about someone going through the same thing and acting all high and mighty, they have probably had trouble dealing with this problem and dont want to drag all the feelings up again x.
I know you are probably suffering alot and although you dont say what is happening to you right now, I imagine its hurting you alot.
So just remember although you ask for advice some poeple are not able to help you even if they did have the same problem in the past. they may have dealt with it and put it to the back of their mind. And for them thats their way of dealing with it.
Some things you have to go through on your own, and this site is really good for advice. because we dont know you at all so we wont judge you.
Hope I have helped.
Good Luck.
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): You need to be more specific with your question. This is more like a debate. I agree some people do say that there are people worse off than you, and there are, but right now it is your problem that takes presidence. I do understand. If you read my profile you will realise that i have been to hell and back on many occasions but the world goes on. And when i have been crying and screaming someone has been laughing, we cannot alter that, and who would want everyone to be crying at the same time. That would take us back to the miserable day of Diana funeral. Why are you suffering? Let us know and see if we can help.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (18 April 2008):
I understand how you feel!!! One of the worst things to hear when you are going through a hard (or not so bad in some poeples opinions) time is "what about all the poor kids in africa who are starving to death???". Yes that is very sad that they are going through that but it doesnt mean what you aregoing through doesnt cause any pain and it doesnt really make it any easier to deal with. Some poeple who say those things are just simply insensitive and dont care. Some people just dont know what else to say. To some people, that is there way of making 'whingers shut up'. And when some people say it, i dont tihnk they mean it in a bad way, they honestly and genuinly think it will help...yet it just comes across as being insensitive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): seriously... what is ur question.
i think that maybe you should think of a better question focussed on you and not "other people" refraise it, and then re ad it cuz all it sounds like ur doing is bitching. no one wants to hear that. yes. there are people worse off and better off but just focus on urself. dont listen to people who just tell you that there are people worse off out there because if something is bothering you your the only one tht will ever know how bad. people do not have the right to tell you "its not as bad as...." because how do they know how you feel.. they dont.
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