A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How am I to understand how a man feels when he looks at you if he won't even give you a little smile?Yesterday I was grocery shopping and passed a really good looking man in my aisle. When I saw him, he was already looking at me. He was alone. We exchanged looks and I smiled at him as we passed each other. Later I saw him again while leaving the store. He was leaving as well and once again we walked right past each other. This time we exchanged looks for a longer period of time and I smiled at him again when we were almost face to face with each other. He didn't smile or frown, he just stared very intently into my eyes. I don't know how to read this man. I found it very intimidating. I am new to dating again. I was in a very long term relationship that is no more and now I'm out of practice. Honestly his lack of emotion seemed like a form of rejection to me. This is not the first time this has happened to me either. Men stare at me all the time but almost never smile or speak. I have wondered if these men might be in relationships and that is why they show no reaction. I can understand that, but if they are not, why won't they give me a sign of some sort. Do men stare at women they do not find attractive or am I attractive to them? I must be doing something wrong. I need some perspective on this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Window shoppers don't stare at the girl in her eyes, not for a long time. There are tits and butts and legs and other things to look at. If he was looking at your eyes for a long time, then I say he was interested in you.
But why not smile or speak? It might be the fear of rejection. Some girls are quite rude (and loud) when trying to say no. It can be a bit humiliating for a man, specially in public places like the grocery.
It would be nice if you gave a sign to him that says "I'm available. Come talk to me". A single smile won't do the job. I get lots of smiles from the ladies in the grocery. It's just a sign of being polite and nice. I smile back at them and then we pass by.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Maybe because you have recently become single it is making you uber aware of men that stare. Some do it and its usually the ones already in relationships and they arent THAT interested. They are just in `cave man` mode and gawping at Woman! I once asked my partner what he would do if one of the women he stared at responded to his interest with similar interest. His reply was rather `double standard`. He got all prissy and said he would explain he was in a very happy relationship and tell her to be on her way. Suggesting she would be a shameless hussy for trying to tempt him. MhMh... I totally believe him AND the moon really is made of cheese.
I would just ignore the starers. A single sensible man would look a couple of times and smile or speak.
Starers are a breed apart and usually have some sort of issue going on and require special treatment when you are out with them.
If you were `lucky` enough to find an unavailable one and date him. You would end up being like me. A cross between and girlfriend and a `handler`. Ive had to assist my Ugg more than once because he has walked into things while rubber necking at Woman. He once went headlong into a clothes rail in a shop because he saw Woman with her thong on show. And many is the time ive had to retrace my steps in supermarkets and collect him, transfixed in isles, staring at Woman. He has bumped into things, knocked things over...all because his faculties go on him when Woman trundles into view.
Unless you want a life as his handler every time you go out, chose the less obvious guys who do smile at you or make a remark first but dont overly stare and say nothing!
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 If you ask me it could mean many things.. like one reader said window shopping, or heck, maybe they were just practicing eye contact. Worse case, the guy was undressing you with his eyes. Guys should have more balls when it comes to talking to women and initiating. Its important for breaking ice and showing a bit of confidence to the lady.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): I stare at people and people stare at me. Dont believe that everyone is staring at you and you are the main attraction as it may just let you down.
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A
female
reader, china doll 1936 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Hi
I'am 75 years old and have been around for a while my suggestion would be say Hi, How are you today. If he is interested he will answer I worked as a food sampler and that's how you start a conversation even with the younger guys also can say nice day today. Hope this will help.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 HA and SVC: My favorite line is: "You look familiar. Didn't we go to different schools together?"
Works every time....
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (16 February 2012):
 How about asking a lead question like "you look really familar, do I know you from somewhere?" If you don't get the reaction you want, don't fret, you probably will never see him again.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): maybe men just presume you're already married? if you see someone attractive or that you could be interested in, let them know you're available - hold his gaze, smile back - not in a polite way but in a way that say 'hey, come talk to me'
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 February 2012):
 If they don't smile or speak, they are window shopping... I look at pretty dresses and think.. NICE... and then move on... same with pretty people....
just because someone looks at you or even smiles at you does not mean they want to date you....
My man looks at pretty girls and will even comment "nice shoes" is his favorite line.... but trust me he's not interested in taking her home or dating her....
IF you see something you want it's acceptable now for women to be forward and initiate a conversation and see if they are available. but be aware that not every attached man is going to volunteer that information so you should be cautious..
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2012):
Perhaps it would have helped if, when the two of you smiled/acknowledged one-another, YOU had opened your mouth and said, "Hi". THAT would have been the ice-breaker that invited HIM to either say, "Hi".... or, he would have NOT reacted to your friendly "Hi"... and THAT would have been far more information than you got with just the smile....
That said, I suggest you get BACK to that store and shop when he's there, again, and try what I suggested ...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Maybe he was married?
Married people like to window shop too. I think the stare had less to do with you then him having an inner monologue.
Or maybe he thought he recognized you from some place but wasn't sure enough to approach you?
Maybe he stared at you because you started at him?
Maybe he doesn't get the whole "no more the 3 second rule" ?
I would try not to over analyze little things like this.
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