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Why is it so hard to talk to guys?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 June 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Why is it so difficult for me to talk to guys? I can usually talk to guys I'm comfortable with with no difficulty whatsoever, but if i try to talk to a guy i don't really know, i get so shy. I've never had a boyfriend before, and i feel like I'm going to mess up when talking to a cute guy and blow my chances. Why is it so hard?

View related questions: never had a boyfriend, shy

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A female reader, ilanah tromans United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2011):

ilanah tromans agony auntthis is totally normal i think everyone gets this from time to time, i was like this last year im 14 now and recently my confidence level has just risen and im not as shy but i still find it difficult to speak to boys, it will just come naturally to you eventually, your still young anyway overtime you'll get more comfortable with boys, hope this helps !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, *56077 Australia +, writes (15 June 2011):

*56077 agony auntIt can be somewhat intimidating to talk to boys at your age (shit I'm 20, still find it somewhat of an issue). Like most things in life, the attitude you have towards it can make a massive difference. End of the day, you're just talking to a person, true?. If you percieve this as the be all and end all, overanalyse everything, second guess everything you want to say.. this could be quite stressful. Take a laid back approach, have a laugh, poke fun, be sarcastic.. dont take it so seriously. A difficult concept to fully embody, but so worth it.

Theres nothing intrinsically bad about being shy - it may even make you stand out compared to others, or appear mysterious and elusive. Nights when I go out with friends and put zero effort in to being outwardly social often result in a lot of male attention. You are so young, I wouldn't even bother worrying about anything boyfriend related (taking the chill attitude and whatnot). Whether you are shy or not, you deserve to be with someone who truely likes you for who you are. However, if it's something you are unhappy with, within yourself, then change it. Push yourself a little more each day when talking to someone you don't know so well. Like learning anything new, practice is the key.

You have some friends that are boys, so this is good. Use them as a resource. Just casually bring this up in conversation, have a laugh at yourself, and ask them for their opinion. No one knows a teenage boy like a teenage boy.

Good luck!

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