A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I'm not sure what to do about this, or indeed whether not to do anything about it, which is why I'm asking for advice. My ex and I split up 3 and a half years ago after one year together. It was a very messy breakup which took a long time to get over. He was verbally abusive, actually wished me dead and was very derogatory towards me and my family, including my bro in law who is actually vaguely related to him through marriage. My ex told me he was using my bro in law for money, which I have told my bro in law about. My sis banned him from going to the house and he only had very occasional contact with my bro in law. I am over the break up now and have no contact with my ex and refuse to speak to him or acknowledge him if we pass in the street. In the past couple of days my bro in law let slip that he is letting my ex use his and my sis's house as a pick up/drop off point for his son (by another relationship). I have been told that my ex has been leaving their house sometimes 5 or ten minutes before I get there. I have told my sis and bro in law that I am not happy that he has been allowed back in the house and the reasons why. He has brought nothing but trouble to this family and is bad news. They have both said that this arrangement will continue.I do not want to have anything to do with my ex because of what he did. However I am powerless to do anything about it. I don't know why my ex just won't do us a favour and stay out of all our lives. He is just using my family and that makes me angry. Am uncomfortable going to see my family now in case my ex turns up. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone! Am just going to carry on visiting my sister and if the ex shows up I'm not going to act bothered. I need to take back some power and you are right, that is the way to do it. Am good at putting on a confident face. I have told sis and bro in law that is the ex starts on me while I'm there then I will give it back, but I'm not going to start anything myself. It's an awkward situation that I can't change but I can change how it affects me. Have a feeling that the bro in law and sis will learn when they are screwed over by the ex! Thanks again for taking the time to reply and for the good advice xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): Its a bad situation,been there myself, your sister isnt showing you any loyalty really so I would keep away from her home and so avoid a chance meeting with your ex
She knows where you live so let her visit you if you want to stay in contact
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): Pretty easy really OP, you don't want him in your life, that means you have to stay away from your sister and bro in law too. You can't risk meeting him there so you just can't call over there anymore.
That's it, nothing else you can do.
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