A
female
age
36-40,
*att640
writes:I have been attached to this guy for a month plus now. And he used to be working in Singapore, whereas I'm a born-Singaporean. I had broke up with my ex-boyfriend a few months back at the start of 2012, and so I went online Facebook to search for some guy who is in Singapore, as my ex-boyfriend was not a Singapore and was from India. So I had came across this guy, lets name him Kahlon (as I can't mention his real name here), and so I made the efforts to send him a message, and from there we became friends, and I came to know that he was an Indian national too, working in Singapore, so I decided to meet up with him, and from then on we met frequently, almost everyday. I fell for him, but I had kept it to myself all the while. Then one day when he met me in the library where I was studying, he told me that he has to leave back to India in a month's time and that is his last month in Singapore, which was this year August. I had said nothing, but he kept staring into my eyes, and so I felt weird and asked him why is he looking at me like that ? He said nothing. Then he had to leave for work, and I had stayed on in the library to finish up my studies. At night when I reached home, he texted me saying that Babe why were you upset when I told you I'm leaving next month ? To hide and cover up my feelings, I said no I was not upset at all, what makes you think I was ? He said the Love in your Eyes for me made me feel so, then he asked me, Do you love me ? I replied saying, " Hahahaha, why are you asking as such ? Is it coz' you've fallen in love with me ?" He said just answer me, but I resisted and asked him back if he loved me, he said who asked the question first ? I said you did, but I want the answer first, then he said no you answer me first, then as I was typing out my feelings telling him that I'm falling love with him, he sent me a text saying very simple words, " I love you Jas, " Then I was shocked for that moment, and so I sent him my written text, and he said don't tell me that you're falling in love with me, tell me if you are or not, then I said yes I am, :) Then from then on, we started dating for 10 days, and in this 10 days he told me that there is a girl who is waiting for him back in India, now he doesn't know what to do, I told him, its okay, you decide, you have a month here still, we can make as many memories as we can, and take them with us where ever we go, :) He agreed to it, as he was sure he wanted to be with me for life, so we spent most of our time together, fell more and more in love, :)Then as he had returned, just a few days back, this girl Nav added me on Facebook telling me that she is Kahlon's younger brother's fiance, and asked me what relationship do I and Kahlon have ? And as Kahlon's whole family knows about me, I said why don't you ask Kahlon himself or his brother ? And so she replied me saying that whatever it is, tell me straight forwardly and don't beat round the bush, why are you shy to tell me the truth ? I haven't replied her as of yet, as I am very angry with that message, it seemed as she had not respected me, and to get respect, you gotta give respect, that's the value instilled in me, :) And on top of all this, Kahlon uploaded that girl's pic, who has been waiting for him for 5 years, who's name is Preet, and upon seeing that, I am very upset, very very very upset. And I had called him to speak to him today, but he was away outside with his friends and so was busy so I said I want to speak to you tomorrow and you better be free, he said he will be. Now I am waiting for tomorrow only.I had shared this with one of our friends too, what this friend did was he spoke to Kahlon and Kahlon told him that he loves me only, but he doesn't know what decision to make as Nav demands that Kahlon gets married to Preet only, and if he doesn't she will not marry Kahlon's brother. So in this situation, there are like 5 of us involved ? And Kahlon is the victim of all this, which I hate seeing him being the victim, :( And now my question is that, Why is it so hard for Kahlon to make his decision if he knows his happiness is only with me and he loves me only ? Why is he taking so much time still ? Should I tag him in the pictures that we took ? And it is already obvious enough that we are in a relationship as it is our relationship status on Facebook, and everyone can see it, then why is still Nav asking me ? How can I make Kahlon have the strength to tell everyone what is his heart's desire ? Who he wants as his life partner ? I know I have to be his strength, because I have always been, without me, he is weak, but this situation makes me feel weak too, :( I need advice on how I make myself strong and make Kahlon strong so that we both, together can fight against this world for our love ? Please help, I need real good advice on this as it involves 5 people, :(Thank You And May Peace Be Upon You :)
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broke up, facebook, fiance, I love you, my ex, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jatt640 +, writes (5 October 2012):
jatt640 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You AuntyAunt Once Again ! That's some sense knocked into me now, :) I was just too confused and the fear to loose him guess just took over me for the time being, :)
A
female
reader, AuntyAunt  +, writes (5 October 2012):
 You're welcome! I don't think you should spend all your time trying to convince him to choose you. As i'm sure you'd rather him choose you because he WANTS to, not because you've persuaded him. You'll be okay!
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A
female
reader, jatt640 +, writes (5 October 2012):
jatt640 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAuntyAunt ; Thank you so much for your reply, it has put a smile across my face, that he has to EVANTUALLY answer me, hahah, no escaping I guess, and talking to him, I will do so, :) Then wait for his answer is all I have to do, it sure is a complicated situation, but I guess I have to be patient and wait for his answer, :) But still, any way where I could make him make the right decision and be his strength to tell the others off that he wants to just be with me? And that they can decide what they want to do because he isn't going to step back from his decision? I really don't want this relationship going down the drain, :#Sageoldguy1465 ; Thank you so much for that point where you guys hate leaving that woman who would be your s*x partner in bed, :) Because that is one thing why he is with me, he said he would marry me just because he wants my virginity, and I told him to wait a couple of years more, to see where this relationship goes, :) And he has agreed to wait so that in the meantime, we both could have our careers settled, :) Right now, as you being a male, could you tell me how can I be his strength to tell everyone else off that he only wants to be with me and no one else? He seems pretty weak to be able to tell off the rest as of course they are also a part of his life, and I do not blame him for that, :) Any way I could make him make a stern decision and stay by his words? :) Thanks again for your advice, much appreciated! :)And Thanks A Million To The Both Of You For Making My Day Today ! :)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 We guys HATE to make decisions.... ESPECIALLY when the decision that we must make requires that we go away from a woman who we think (or, KNOW!) will be a s*x partner with us..... We NEVER want to let one of you (women) go.... and do just about anything to keep you "on the hook"....
THAT is why he behaved the way he did.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, AuntyAunt +, writes (4 October 2012):
Well, this does all sound very confusing! In my opinion this 'Kahlon' sounds like a very complicated man, do you really want to be dealing with all this?
If you're insistent on pursuing this then you just need to wait for him to make his decision, there's no much else you can do. Although you DO need to tell him to ignore this petty issue with the 5 of you and think about what he actually wants. You all need to be mature adults about this.
He has to answer you eventually.
Best of luck to all involved!
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