A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a very very open person with my friends (guys and girls) yet when it comes to a guy that I like, I freeze. I give guys the wrong impression - this one guy told me he thought I wasn't interested, when in reality, I really was. I don't show my feelings, I can't seem to open up. I always hope that they just see that I do like them (since I am talking to them) so that they become more open, so I will become more open. But I don't want to be like that! Like I said, I am very open with my friends. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Hi Ms anonymous, I used to have the same problem, so now I just do the opposite thing to how I really feel like acting. It's frightening but exciting at the same time, I tried to do something new, and it helped me overcome my fears. Check out that Peter Pan has kindly provided, I think it's brilliant and I'm gonna use it myself.
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 June 2008):
 One more link for you (I was curious so I poked around a little more). This one is a kind of quick-reference on some popular interpretations of body position. If you're displaying any of the negative ones on this list, then try to be more conscious of what you're subconsciously conveying:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/body.php
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 June 2008):
Well, it's obvious to me... you are comfortable with friends because there's nothing in that relationship that's at stake. But when it comes to somebody you are interested, you put off the appearance that you really aren't interested. To me it seems like you are giving off the wrong body language and possibly appearing un-approachable.
So here's a few suggestions. Check your body language. Are you open? Are you being inviting? If not, take on more of an inviting stance. I did a 10 second search on Google and found this link that might help (if it's not what your thinking, then search on your own -- I know there's lots of pages on body language out there):
http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/body_language.htm
Next, I would also suggest that you try to open up and be a little more flirty with the guys you're interested in. Face it, we guys are thick. It varies from guy to guy, but sometimes we need to be hit over the head before we realize that there's somebody interested in us (I take that from my personal pages and offer it to you). I would suggest a little more flirtatiousness around these guys to give them a clue what's going on in your head.
I guess bottom-line here is that I'm trying to get you to take ownership of the situation and help guide it toward an ending you want. If you're interested in somebody, don't count on them to just know that you are -- demonstrate that you are by flirting and opening up the body language. I really think that will help you.
Best wishes!!
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