A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: A week ago one of my friends commited suicide and totally turned my life upisde down. We don't know why he did. He was a very smart happy kid. Everyone loved him. Anyways this isn't a relationship question. But I need help. When the teachers at my school told 7th and 8th grade that he passed away I shut down completly. I haven't talked to anyone unless I really needed to until Tuesday. This death is really affecting my life. I've never been so sad. I only cry once a night around 10:15 p.m. I don't know why though. I didn't even cry at the funeral. (but i cried at the viewing) I didn't cry at school either. No one is making me happy. I laugh and talk and smile but i don't mean it. I try to fake everything and it's working so far but i don't know how long I can handle this pain. And no I haven't tried to kill myself or harm myself in annyway. And i tried to talk to people though. It didn't work. They end up crying and I stop. I ask for a hug they say no exept a few. And sometimes i try to talk to people and they bring up memories and I get even sadder. I can't say death or suicide and die or God or anything without me dying a little inside. Like right now my heart hurts because I just typed those words. I don't know what's wrong with me! A death has never affected me this bad. I don't know why. I wasn't even that close to him. I sat by him in algebra and we talked but i didn't know him alot. How can I be happy again or help deal with his death at least. and Why is his death really affecting me?Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 February 2011):
 Contact The Samaritans at 212/673-3000. This is the New York branch but they have about 400 branches in USA and they'll give you the NO. of the closest to your area.
They have trained volunteers specialized in suicide prevention and psychologycal/ emotional support to friends and families of suicides. They will help you explore your feelings and make sense of them in this painful occasion.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Hi. I'm sorry this happned. Sometimes people , even though they may apeear to be ok on the surface, are not inside. Your friend was unhappy, and could not live with his pain anymore. We don;t know why he did it, and we will never know why, but he felt he could not go on anymore. It's very hard for the people they leave behind, and reminds us all of our own mortality. You will learn to livw with this in time, and the pain will go. Try to talk to your parntes about how you feel too, and allow yourslef time to grieve, and experience the pain you are feeling. He is out of pain now. No more suffering and is at peace. Try to remember that, and say some prayers for him and for yourself. As time goes on, you will heal. All the best. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Yes, talk to you parents and the school counselor. I think many kids in your class are feeling similar things. It's good to talk to someone, and it's normal to feel this way. It's a good thing to do. That's why school counselors are there: to help. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (12 February 2011):
 I think you need some bereavment councilling. The school should really provide this. Try to talk about it as much as you can, even if all you do is write down all your thoughts and feelings about it. You can show these to a counsellor if you do go and see one.
When my father died 9 years ago, i did my best to talk to as many people about it as possible, yes it was painful, but i did it, and although you will miss your friend, the pain will ease.
I think the reason why this is affecting you so much is simply because it was so unexpected. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now, but i promise you, it will get easier. Talk to a teacher that you trust and get on with about bereavment councilling. I was offered it when dad died, but i chose not to take it. Just because you have councilling, doesn't make you weak or anything and i suggest you recommend it to other friends who are struggling.
Best of luck, you can always talk to us on here if you need to.
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