A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was really good friends with this guy for 2 years. But then he got a girlfriend, and then stopped talking to me. They broke up really soon, but we still didn’t talk. Now, after a year, he’s commenting/liking my statuses and messaging me on fb again, just like we used to. Only now, i think it’s a little awkward. I’ve moved onto bigger and better things, and he’s still in the same place. (I’m in nursing school now, and he’s still applying) I accidentally added him go my nursing group on fb, but hadn’t realized it until he told me.i want to be friendly with him, but i don’t at the same time. In the year that we stopped talking, he started smoking (gross) and got tattoos (ehh). I was happy for him when he got a gf, but was upset when he stopped talking to me. I made the effort to talk to him, but he wouldn’t say much, so i stopped trying to talk to him.why the hell is he talking to me again? I’m a little annoyed, but at the same time, don’t want to be rude when talking to him.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (14 December 2012):
 I tend to bristle whenever someone says "this is very male behavior", but on reflection Em is right this is male behavior. We think one box at a time. When he was in the relationship his box was full and he didn't think about you. When that ended he , finally, got back to his other boxes.
You are annoyed, not just because he has changed, smoking, tattoo, but because he ignored you. That has hurt you in an emotional way. Your decision not to be receptive to his return is more of an emotional decision. Not that it is a wrong decision, but, you don't need to look for other reasons. He carelessly hurt you and you don't want to be reminded.
It is nice of you not to be rude. Just tell him you aren't interested any more. He has little invested and should be able to move on.
FA
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 I think this is very male behaviour, they can blow hot and cold and leave you feeling very confused.
The fact that you were just friends might have given him the idea that it was ok to drop the friendship whilst he was occupied with a girlfriend and as soon as he dumps her, you are back on the entertainment menu.
Don't see it as a sign that he is back to date you...if he wanted that, he would have made his move by now...he is just biding time until the next girlfriend comes along.
It's really hard to block someone out of your life but when it becomes a 'them or me' situation and it's upsetting or annoying you, it's better to pull the plug.
Delete him off of your nursing group and block him from online stuff. You don't need to give any explaination as he will know what he did, so leave him to it.
This sort of backwards and fowards stuff can drag on for years and can utterly drain you. Given enough time it is possible to totally get over anyone (even the love of your life)
Keep moving foward and leave him far far behind!!
xxx
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