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I thought I could taste latex condom on my husband while giving him oral, he says I'm crazy but I'm ready to file for divorce

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Marriage problems, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 November 2017) 10 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2018)
A female United States age 51-59, *speranza0408 writes:

My husband asked me to give him oral sex. He had just taken a shower. We’re about to have sex, I go down on him and I put his penis in my mouth. I tasted the strangest taste of condom. I was in disbelief. I pulled away saying to myself I’m. Crazy. There is no way I just tasted condom, I mean straight latex!! I kept going because I didn’t want to seem psycho and start accusing in the middle of sex. My mind was gone I was absent minded. It’s been a week.

But now it is driving me crazy. I have now been bringing it up and he tells me I’m crazy. And I’m making all this up and that he’s tired of hearing it. He will just leave the house and not take my calls. I have tried to talk about it and he just refuses. I’m ready to file for a legal separation and then a divorce. We are in the process of purchasing some real estate and I think I need to be smart and pull out until we divorced. Or legally separated. I don’t want him to benefit off of my hard work. PleaE some one advise. I feel like I’m going Crazy. Literally!!!

View related questions: condom, divorce, oral sex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2018):

It actually just happened to me. My husband just took a shower, I went down on him before we had sex. I swear I tasted a condom as well. I have no idea what to do. If I say anything he'll deny it and thinking I'm crazy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2017):

You may well be a bit loony. Let it go until you have far more evidence than this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2017):

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess there are far more problems with this marriage than just this incident. It sounds like trust is non-existent. Without it, the relationship has no foundation and is doomed to fail. Are there other reasons you don’t trust him or is it just the latex taste? In my mind, if he had cheated recently enough to still have the latex taste on his penis, he probably would not have been seeking sexual gratification from you. That doesn’t seem plausible to me, so I’m assuming there are other red flags you’re not mentioning here. If it’s just this incident, then you may be overreacting. If there are other signs, then trust your gut and get out. You always know in your heart when something isn’t right.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2017):

To each her own, but I'm amazed how people will bring up divorce over the seemingly most minor thing.

Oh I just thought of another possibility-- some guys masturbate with condoms so as not to make a big mess. I would imagine some of them would be embarrassed to talk about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2017):

Wait i am almost positive you asked an almost identical question on here last year. What gives?

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (27 November 2017):

If you’re looking for a divorce you don’t need a reason but this excuse is as good an excuse as any. Clearly the marriage is broken and neither you or your husband appear interested in fixing it. So stop any financial transactions see a lawyer and file for divorce.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (27 November 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI feel like you really need some good advice, but I'm just not sure where to go with it. As much as I don't like the way he is handling your accusations, I don't know what else he can do. You essentially came to him with a question about which you have no proof. The evidence was washed away. You don't accept his claim that nothing happened, Which is unproveable. (you can't prove a negative) He would have to alibi at least 24 hours. with people you would be inclined to believe. if he went to the corner shop for a pepsi just once, boom it's all over for him. So that is my first bit of advice. You need to find a way that he could possibly prove to you that he did not cheat on you. My second advice you already have. you need to come up with some evidence better than your memory of a taste/smell.

Now those are the healthy positive things you could do. But I've got to tell you, you live in the United States. in most states you don't need to prove anything to get a divorce. Just acting crazy is enough for irreconcilable differences. Putting a hold on a real estate purchase is advisable because you are considering divorce. All you need to say is I still have unanswered questions and your behavior is not getting that resolved. I'm not comfortable with making a big purchase now.

If you have such a low level of trust in your relationship, perhaps it is best all around if you do separate. Sad to say, but relationships are made up of trust. and if there is no trust, there really is only a memory of a relationship.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (27 November 2017):

Try having sex again - after he hasn't had a chance to cheat for the past day or two - and see if that taste is still there.

I'm not well versed in these things but it seems as though a condom taste wouldn't be so strong after just taking a shower.

You are way ahead of yourself in regard to separating or getting a divorce over this. You need to do a little investigation into condom odors and whether he is cheating.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (27 November 2017):

YouWish agony auntGeeze, file for divorce??? Actually, what you're smelling should have you concerned about his HEALTH, not his fidelity.

Sometimes, a guy's urine smells like latex because of an infection (like a urinary tract infection) or imbalance of Ph. It could be something as simple as what he's been eating or drinking, as someone who drinks a lot of fruit juice has a different smell than someone who has been drinking alcohol.

Has he started taking a prescription medication? That most DEFINITELY changes the smell of bodily fluids, and can also make things smell clinical or latex-y. Even if he's been in pain and has upped his ibuprofen intake, that can change the way things smell.

Think about it logically!! You didn't smell it on him after coming home late from a meeting. He had JUST taken a shower. What you were smelling was being generated from inside him, not what he had been wearing, as the smell would have washed off in the shower.

I think you're grossly overreacting here, and to be honest, if your husband hasn't gotten a physical exam, this should be a warning sign for him to get one, because anything that changes the Ph of bodily fluids (you hear of a lot of vaginas smelling like latex even if condoms aren't used. Many more guys jump to this conclusion about their women than the other way around) should be checked out.

You're letting your insecurities jump all over your face and brain.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017):

Maybe hire a private investigator before you blow it all up. I don’t see how condom smell would last through a shower unless he is very bad at getting himself clean. Did he use a new soap or drip hair shampoo on it, perhaps.

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