A
female
age
30-35,
*eronicad
writes:This guy and I were kind of seeing each other for about 3 months. He introduced me to his family and friends. We used to speak every day, and he would also call. He would ask to see me basically every weekend and invite me to events. Due to my busy schedule, we didn’t catch up as much as I would’ve liked to. I remember this one time we were out, and I was talking to another guy and he asked who it was, in a seemingly jealous way and that night asked who I was on the phone to once I had ended a call(which was my mother). He would hold my hand and put his arm around my waist when directing me to somewhere. We only have kissed, because every time we have caught up, it’s been out in ‘public’. When we’ve been texting, there have definitely been sexual connotations so I feel we are both sexually attracted to each other. He would act the same when I was around with his friends. When we caught up, we would talk about everything and I definitely sensed he felt comfortable around me, as we would joke around with each other. He invited me to something on new years, and I told him that I could probably go, but I was unfortunately away and he seemed to have gotten quite annoyed, became blunt with me, but told me he missed me. Time went on, and we didn’t speak for a bit, but we just snap chatted each other. He was still sort of blunt, and only got in contact with me once he saw a photo of me and this guy on my snap chat (who is my friend). I am moving away for about a year, he said he would come and visit me. While I was away, he religiously kept asking when I am going to be back. I left it for about a week, and I got in contact with him again asking how he’s been and he seemed happy to hear from me. We carried on talking, and he told me he missed me again and even ‘jokingly’ I think, mentioned he wouldn’t mind if I were the woman of his house one day, he talked about what he would like his house to look like. I went to a 22nd a couple of nights ago and when I told him over text, he laughed and said ‘doesn’t sound too bad’. We carried on talking, and he teased me about one night when we were out that I was so drunk, but in an almost rude way. I told him jokingly, to shut up and I haven’t heard anything since, and that was a couple of nights ago, except I received a snap chat from him recently. Why has he sort of given me the cold shoulder?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2015): How is a couple of days the cold-shoulder? Perhaps he's a little sensitive about being told to shut-up. In some circles, telling people to shut-up is considered rude if it's dismissive. A joke is only funny, when everyone gets it and everybody's laughing. He may have been trying to let you know he had a problem with you being drunk. That's important.
I do agree things are moving fast, but you haven't had sex; and you've spent more time catching-up then spending time together. He has been consistently in-contact, and you seem to look forward to it. You both seem to click. It's still too soon to really tell.
If he pouts about petty things, let him. Just let it pass.
Tally small things up over time, don't trump-up one incident as a full-assessment of where things are going; or a spoiler-alert of the final outcome.
If you informed him you're moving away, he may be stepping up his game to see if that might persuade you to stay, or consider a long-distance relationship. I wouldn't recommend an LDR to either of you. Just see how things go, and make your decisions on how to maintain your emotional-connections as you get to know each other better. You're feeling a little apprehensive right now, only because you don't know what makes him tick.
A little side-advice. You never have to wait for anyone to call you. It goes two-ways. When you need clarification of something that directly effects you, or have done something to hurt someone's feelings; it's your place to contact that person using a more "personal means of contact" to clear things up. Messaging is impersonal. Maybe he'd rather be taken seriously about this.
Communication isn't just being able to reach a person through a device. If you can maintain it through personal interaction, you'll grow a lot closer. Encourage people to talk to you if they have a problem with you. Ignoring you is childish and you should let them/him know in no uncertain terms that you'd prefer a more mature way to fix things. You're not committed yet, so this isn't entirely a big deal.
Just rethink how you behaved when you were drunk and make sure you didn't say or do anything to hurt anyone or embarrass yourself. Even if you did, that kind of discussion is better face to face anyway.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 January 2015):
 re-read janniepeg she's got it going on.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 January 2015):
 He is moving faster than you are, and would like to see you more often than you are available. He was close to asking you to be a girlfriend with teasing and hinting. He didn't know if you felt the same. Either you are really a busy person, lots of friends, or you are not as interested. He doesn't know if he could handle a long distance for a year and always worrying that another guy would snatch you away. A long distance is easier if you are a solid couple and you are confident that when you come home you have welcoming arms. The relationship is too new for anything practical. He could only dream and wait for signs that your feelings are deeper, which is hard when you have to be away. If you like him that way and since you are the one moving away, you can make it a sure thing by making it official. When you are serious he will less likely be giving you the cold shoulder, and also be able to determine whether a joke is meant to lighten up a heavy topic, or if he's just a dreamer.
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