Why is he lying about porn?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok, so I've been w/ my fiance for 3 years now, 2 of which we have lived together. He works construction and got rained out early one day, and instead of coming home, went to the adult store. I didn't mind, it was nothing we had done together before, but not something I am opposed to. He brought home a couple new toys and a new porn. We had never watched porn together before so he was a little reluctant to show me what he had got, afraid I would be upset with him. I wasn't. We watched part of the movie together that evening, then decided to move into the bedroom for our own fun then some sleep. Well, after we did our thing we laid in bed for about 5 min to get to sleep and he jumped up claiming he couldn't sleep. I asked him to lay w/ me (cuddle) for a little while longer before he got up. He did not. I fell asleep while he was watching tv in the living room. Anyway, I woke up the next morning and found a towel w/ his cum on it in our living room. When I asked him what it was he said he spilled something. Well, I wasn't born yesterday, I knew he didn't "spill" something. We have been fighting for days b/c I was lied to. Is it silly for me to be upset that he wouldn't lay w/ me because his porn was calling? Now porn is no longer welcome in our house if it leads to him being dishonest (which sucks b/c I kind've enjoyed it). I'm hurt, I was lied to and it made me feel inadequate. Obviously I didn't give him what he needed if he had to get out of bed and lie to me in the process of satisfying himself. He thinks I'm just psycho and jealous. Should I feel differently about this? I had no problem watching it w/ him and even acting on it. But now, I can't even stand the thought of him watching porn. I feel like he took it to anohter level by sneaking out of bed and lying continually. He finally fessed up, but I'm not sure how I can forgive him. I am more insecure now than I have ever been in my life, all b/c it was so important to him that he had to lie. If there were nothing wrong w/ the way things played out, he wouldn't have had to lie... right? Am I wrong for being upset about this? How can I get back to good? I don't want to be opposed to porn, I like it. But, I don't feel right sitting next to him watching it, due to the lengths that he has gone to to watch porn. So I guess I'm wondering where do you draw the line? Should I just let this go or am I being resonable by being upset? Please keep in mind that I'm not upset he watched porn, I'm upset that he knew it was ok w/ me, watched it w/ me, then had to go back for 2nds w/o me and lie about it.

View related questions: fiance, insecure, jealous, porn

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009):

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