A
female
age
36-40,
*osycheeks
writes:Hi, so my first proper boyfriend from 8 years ago, we dated about 1.5 years back then. We bumped into each other about 5 years ago or something, said hey yadi ya as you do. But every so randomly he sends hello's on facebook. We're not friends on it though. I'd just got back from a travel trip one time and saw a message and repsonded to a witty email of his saying I'd just travelled the world yadi ya. Then he said thats funny, because he was currently on a round the world trip himself. and when he gets back hes going to go to uni to study. (In our relationship he always said 'i want to do this and i want to do that but never did' So we ended up talking about travel and places, hot spots, what to do. He was travelling with his girlfriend. I read their blog for entertainment. I wondered when he gets back, i wonder if we'll stop emailing. Since we just got carried away with travel talk. I wasn't too fussed I was single, I wasnt hurting anyone. But at the same time im wondering whats the point? is my ex going to become a 'penpal' ?He now studies down the road from my work office (I think) So it's all become quite close to home, although I don't think he realises it. He's just recently sent a message. But I have a boyfriend now, and just wouldnt want him to get a wrong idea. I'm just not sure if I'm doing anything wrong, and what is the point. I can't figure out how to handle the situation? Why is he in touch, and should we stop?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 your NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. AND if you want to be friends with him and you are comfortable with it, then do it. There is NOTHING wrong with ex partners being friends. I've never been FRIENDS with an ex... I've been FRIENDLY and that is a big difference....
A
female
reader, rosycheeks +, writes (2 December 2011):
rosycheeks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow do you really think so? I've got no feelings like that towards him, but did always find him interesting and fun to be around. And he still has that conversation about him. It's been a long time and we are both much more mature now.
But I guess there is just so much taboo about ex'es being friends. I didn't know what's the right thing to do. But didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 December 2011):
sounds like just an old friend keeping in touch. if it makes you uncomfortable you can end the contact you have no obligation to have contact with him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): Not everything is about sex or wanting someone back, mabye you're just friends??? Despite what Billy Crystal might say, i do think men and women can just be friends, even ex's
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