A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy in my class who I had never spoken to until last Friday (I am very quiet in class).Last Friday, I somehow ended up talking to him and we went to eat after school.At night, I ended up at a small party with my friends and he was there. I could tell he was interested in me. I didn't do anything with me that night (except for a lap dance because we were playing truth or dare).On Sunday, he texted me and asked me out and we went to have dinner and had a good time (at least I did). He was really sweet the entire evening. He did say something that I thought was a bit weird for a first dateHim: "When did we meet?"Me: "Last Friday"Him: "April 19th, I'll remember that date so I can tell my kids that's when I met their mother"I thought it was strange but I thought maybe it was just an innocent joke.We got to my house and he asked to see it and he told me he would give me a massage and I was very hesitant to let him come in because 1) I didn't want to have sex with him on our first date (especially after having given him that lap dance, I didn't want him getting the wrong idea about me) and 2) My house was extremely messyHe insisted (I only told him I didn't want him coming in because my house was messy) and I eventually let him in. He gave me a massage and I could tell he was trying to "seduce" me and I felt a bit uncomfortable so I told him "Okay! Your turn!" and I gave him a massage (I honestly didn't know what to do, it was very awkward).Anyhoo, when he left the house, he told me casually "I'm glad we went out, I like hanging out with cool people with it not meaning anything romantic" (I thought this was weird cause that massage was definitely not un-romantic) but I went along with it.The next day, he completely ignored me at school, and when I said "hi" to me him he replied in a very rude way (not sure how to explain it) and then we didn't talk at all, today we didn't speak either.My question here is, why is he ignoring me now? Did he get mad at me for not sleeping with him? I'm very confused... I broke up with my boyfriend of three years (who I had been with since I was 15) a few months ago and I have no idea what dating is like any more!!! I'm thinking of asking him out tomorrow (somehow the fact that he is ignoring me makes me want him more, what a masochist). Any advice will be helpful, thank you!
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broke up, lapdance, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2013): Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and share their thoughts.
Wow, men really are idiots. I won't ask him out.
Oh, and when I said I have no idea what dating, is like ANYMORE, I shouldn't have included the word "anymore". I meant I have absolutely no clue what dating is like AT ALL! My ex is the only guy I ever dated and we were friends before so we never really "dated" per se.
Now I know that dating sucks, so much game-playing and lack of respect... oh well, I guess I'll have to go through dates with several jerks like this guy before I found someone who has genuine intentions.
Again, thank you so much for your advice! I really appreciate it! :)
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 April 2013):
 First: You write, " I broke up with my boyfriend of three years .... a few months ago and I have no idea what dating is like any more!!!" Well, you're in luck, because "dating" hasn't really changed much over the last few months.....
Second: Regarding "...why is he ignoring me now? Did he get mad at me for not sleeping with him? I'm very confused... " Yes... that's a pretty accurate description of what happened.... We guys have an impossibly-tiny scope of thinking, EXCEPT of thinking what we have to do to have s-x with a girl who strikes our fancy....
Third: Regarding, "I'm thinking of asking him out tomorrow (somehow the fact that he is ignoring me makes me want him more, what a masochist). Any advice will be helpful..." THAT will be about the WORST thing you can do (ask him out), since that will expose to him that you are prepared to CHASE him.... and - by doing so - you lose all control over what will happen between you and him.. It's a guy's DREAM to have a girl compromise such as you are suggesting you'll do.... Think twice about it... then think a third, fourth and fifth time about it.... THEN, if you haven't already reached this conclusion.... forget those five thoughts and keep him at arm's length....
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2013): You are to be commended for your courage and fortitude. I never slept with my boyfriend until we had been dating almost three months. And I know he was hurting real bad. We were in month two of our relationship when I went over his place to pick him up for lunch. I had a key. When I got in I heard him screaming and I ran into the bathroom. he was taking a cold shower and I knew why. It wasn't to much longer before we became intimate with each other. Yep, there are men out there that just want to jump you and there are men out there that will love you completely but are afraid to make the first move. I am sure some day you will meet a man who will love you completely and that is the best feeling in the world. Don't loss hope or your heart. Your knight in shining armour is coming ...Good-luck..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2013):
 “Him: "When did we meet?"
Me: "Last Friday"
Him: "April 19th, I'll remember that date so I can tell my kids that's when I met their mother"
BEST LINE TO GET LAID EVER! He’s got it down pat.
He is ignoring you because yes he wanted to get laid. Why would you ask him out?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 April 2013):
 I think you read him right. He wanted more and when you didn't play ball he got mad. Obviously he thought if you were going to do a lap-dance (even on a dare) you were willing to have sex.
I wouldn't worry, he isn't for you if he can't TALK to you but instead plays games.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (26 April 2013):
Just concentrate on your studies rather than how you might have bruised this jerks ego because he didnt get to bed you on the first date. Dont even waste your breathe talking to him. And good for you for sticking to what you know is the best way to look after yourself. You should feel stronger that you stuck to your principles. Let it be a lesson with future guys and make yourself rules about when you bring someone into your home.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (26 April 2013):
I think his pride was hurt and he'd rather forget anything ever happened. Maybe he thought you were uninterested in him, as opposed to just playing hard to get.
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A
female
reader, loony10 +, writes (26 April 2013):
My opinion, he was hoping that the line about "I'll remember that date so I can tell my kids blahaha," & the seductive massage would have led to more. When it didn't, his bruised ego made it seem like he was never interested. You don't go from talking about kids to saying "I like to hang out with cool people in a non-romantic way. He's playing games and you seem like a mature, young lady that has no time for them. Don't waste your time wondering. He probably uses that line on every girl he's trying to have sex with and if it doesn't happen, ignores them just the same way he's doing with you.
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