A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The guy I like and I recently got into the habit of chatting. We've never spoken in person though, despite attending the same school. I thought it was because he hated girls, but then he was unexpectedly nice to me at prom.Anyway, the thing is, ever since we've started talking, he hasn't been exactly mister nice guy. He keeps calling me stupid, blonde, stingy and has recently compared me to his cat. Despite this though, he has opened up about himself, told me about his family and insecurities and plans for the future. I know for certain that I'm the only girl he chats to. Because of this, I thought he liked me. My friend and I decided to test this assumption by asking him a random question. I asked him what the best place to go on a date was and he told me to go to any restaurant with my date and to choke on the food there.Why is he being mean? How can I tell him to be nicer to me, without ruining our friendship? Also, am I being bro-zoned here? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 April 2013):
 YOU like him so you don’t see how much he dislikes you and is NOT interested in you. You say we got into the habit of chatting but we’ve never spoken in person. So how do you know him? How do you chat with him? If this is all done online.. it’s easy DELETE HIM. He’s a waste of your time.
You say we have never spoken in person though but then he was unexpectedly nice to me at prom. Conflicting information, so you do know him in real life.
Let’s look at the facts: he calls you names. He is mean to you. Just because he’s talked about family and feelings and plans does not mean he likes you or cares for you.
You and your friends are playing stupid school girl games with him asking him random questions. He’s being mean to you because HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU OR WANT anything from you and he would rather be left alone. MAKE IT SO.
You are not being friend zoned. you are not a friend.
Do not waste any more cosmic energy on figuring him out.
And if you start ignoring him, he will possibly get very nice and sweet to you and try to lure you back into his good graces and once you do that he will start mistreating you again... do not fall for it. Even if he likes you, he's not mature enough to deal with it and he's not worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2013): He is being mean because you allow him to. You absorb his venom because you feel sorry for him, and he has convinced you that you are his only friend. So are you his whipping post too? He doesn't make you feel so special when he's mean, does he?It is wrong to allow people to show you disrespect, or verbally abuse you for any reason.Each and every time he calls you a name, or degrades you, tell him that was really below the belt. Then say, I'll talk to you later. Don't accept any excuses. End the chat.The next time he's ready to chat, it's your turn to speak."If you want our friendship to continue; you'll have to be sure you don't insult me. If it was funny I would be laughing. What you said wasn't funny!"He has a few problems. He is acting out the same way he is treated. Someone says mean things to him at home. So he does the same thing when he talks to other people. You can teach him what is right and wrong, when it comes to YOU! Don't allow one boy to take up all your time. Hang out with your friends and see other boys.You are spoiling him, and he takes the time for granted. That's why he is so mean. He's being a brat! He is talking to you as he would to another boy. Remind him that you are a girl.Why doesn't he want to hangout with you in person? Ask him. When chatting online, it isn't easy to remember there is a real person on the other end. That makes it easier to say whatever you wouldn't say to a person face to face. If he was so great a guy, he'd come up to you at school and talk to you sometime. Face to face. Don't let any boy keep you a secret. He shouldn't be ashamed to let other people know that you are friends.
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