A
female
age
36-40,
*aine
writes:When is my boyfriend have a harder time with his second divorce. They have no kids togather she treated him like shit. His first divorce had two kids
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male
reader, Failte  +, writes (16 October 2012):
You already have great advice from Odds. My partner and I both were dumped by our first spouses who were abusive. We met years later. We both felt better off as a result. Ten years later we simply began to drift apart becoming more platonic and less romantic. My new spouse surprised me by stating she was getting a divorce and there was no point in going to counselling, her mind was made up. Knowing how badly she was hurt by the first divorce I cannot believe she would do this unilaterly without trying to salvage the relationship.My point is that as hard as the first divorce was there were so many valid reasons to accept it and move on. I knew there were great people out there and I could learn to trust again. I thought I had survived.I thought I (we) had learned and I am crushed. I have completely lost my faith in humanity and I don't think I will ever be able to trust anyone again. How could I EVER have another relationship down the road with that baggage?My point is your boyfriend is probably torn between his love for you and his wish to be in a fulfilling relationship on the one hand and his fears on the other. He needs a support system to deal with the second divorce. I think it would complicate things too much if you become his therapist. He really needs to talk to someone though.If you are asking how you can help your relationship maybe promise that you will discuss any issues you have and try to work them out before you both agree to separate. There are no guarentees in this world but I think it is fair to agree to promise to try. He is likely very scared that the third time will not be the charm.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 March 2011):
 It's easy to write off a first divorce as just something that happened, and oculd happen to anyone - people are desperate to rationalize away that sort of thing.
A second divorce may well have shattered his belief in love, marriage, and family. This isn't a "bad things happen, make the best of it" realization, it's a "the world sucks" moment.
He may want to vent his feelings on the issue, or he may not. Offer to listen, but don't get upset if he doesn't want to talk.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): Divorce is not a walk in the park...Regardless of whether the person treated you like crap or even if 'you' are the one who caused the relationship to break down.....Being the second time doesnt make it easier as he would be having a hard time dealing with another failed relationship
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Tell him the third time is the charm.
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