A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I posted a question here last week. Basically my recent ex and I broke up because we're incompatible. We had different expectations and wants in a relationship which result in arguments. A lot of it was due to cultural differences. He's an international student but his parents made a last minute decision for him to return to his home country for university. So he's leaving in 3 days. During our time together, we had the same good friends who all hung out together. However last evening he had a farewell dinner. Everyone except me was invited. I feel so hurt! I know that we're over now and we need time, especially since we broke up still liking one another. But I'm hurt that it wasn't even mentioned to me by anyone. Does this mean that my friends don't care or there's no right and wrong? I'm sad they planned it without me or did my ex tell them not to invite me? I'm feel upset, what should I do? ----My ex never posts photos on Facebook but after we broke up, he posted an album recapturing last semester and this summer. The album looked exciting and fufilling, and I feel hurt that I'm not in it at all even though I was a big part of his life until now. Some events were group events with our mutual friends but he seemed like he erased me from his memory. Did he post the album to upset me? He even posted the graduation cards from his friends, saying how greatful he was, but never mentioned the long letter I gave him. I left most of my stuff alone, as I don't post much anyway, but he suddenly erased me from his memory. Why is this?[Mod note: two posts about the same ex combined here.]
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female
reader, Aarti  +, writes (12 July 2012):
He did this only to make u feel that he forgot u. Infact he wants u to move forward in ur lyf. He want that u should start hating him. It would be gud for u. All d best dear and move forward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): it's called moving on. That's how many people move on, they need to erase their ex from their life. It isn't wrong, and it doesn't mean that he hates you or anything. He's just doing what he needs to do for now. Maybe in the future when he's gotten over you, he'll be able to look back on the time you spent together and be neutral enough about it that he can feel sentimental. But right now is still too soon.
I would also be sad if all my friends were invited and no one told me, I would feel excluded. I think that wasn't a very nice thing to do.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 He didn't invite you because it would hurt too much for both you and him. When you break up you are supposed to move on and there is no point trying to savor the last bits. He didn't do this to hurt you. Whether he invited you, or posts about you, would do nothing about your place in his life. I didn't read your last post. You have your memories with him to cherish. The most important thing is that you shared history and you both learned valuable things about each other. He is trying to keep a happy face and feel cheerful about the future. That's better than wallowing in self pity that he has to go home without you. Not everyone wants to put private things online. He loved you, and decided he is going to move on. It's not that he feels you are a burden to get rid of. Rather, he does not know how to deal with you. He hopes it is out of sight out of mind and that's his style of breaking up. I am kind of like this and as you said it is not about what's right or what's wrong. You've done your part in expressing your gratitude of knowing him. Whether he reciprocates that sentiments, it does not matter now. I hope you can move on knowing that you tried enough and you are indeed someone who he will look back and smile about in the future.
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