A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up a few months ago. He pretty much broke up with me, though both of us were feeling like something was lacking in the relationship at that point. We agreed to be friends but to give each other some time before going ahead with the friendship. But now I'm a little annoyed by him. I do want to be friends with him, though honestly I can take it or leave it if it comes down the worst. The problem is that he keeps sending me messages saying things like, "I miss you" etc. Somehow I can't believe he wants to get back together, to be honest. But at the same time I feel like it's a little inappropriate for him to say this, even as a friend. In fact, I've always ignored these messages. Does any one have any idea why he would be doing this? I feel like he shouldn't be acting this way especially since ultimately he broke up with me, and I have explicitly told him that I want to move on and that we both need to move forward. I may be over-reacting but I almost feel like it's a little selfish of him to say this, like he doesn't want me as more than a friend, but I feel like he's trying to keep me attached for whatever reason. I just don't know...What do you think he means by this, and what should I do? Am I overreacting?Thank you for any advice or insight!!
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male
reader, Martin25  +, writes (6 June 2010):
Personally I have recently broke up and am in a similar situation. I think the worst thing your doing is being friends as this leaves a whole world of options and questions and leads to hope if he wants you back. I think if it was me I would rather be told the truth and obviously friendship often does not materialise after breaking up. If it was me in that situation I would rather be cut off completely rather than be left hanging on it might seem like a hard line to take but you got to let him move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): Maybe he is just being honest. maybe he does miss you. Breaking up with someone is a big change in anyones life and pretty hard to deal with. Feeling like he misses you is normal....not a good enough reason to get back together though. If this is bothering you let him know. Tell him you miss him too (if thats true) but that hearing him say it is not helping you get over him and thats what you need to do. Its nice to know he still thinks of you. A good basis for a friendship Id say - if you're careful.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 June 2010):
You're not looking at this the right way. You're listening to his words too much, and you're not putting enough emphasis on his action. His words say that he still wants you, his actions show he doesn't (he would be making a lot more effort). That means that he's doing this to try and get a reaction out of you, or possibly to keep you around in case something else doesn't work out. It might be better for you to just move on from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): Hi, I'm the op...
Thanks for responding, first of all :)
But why would he want to get back together if he's the one who broke up with me and at the time basically said that he wasn't into me anymore?
I really don't think that he wants to get back together... Which makes me wonder why he's acting this way. I mean is this normal?
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A
female
reader, chiggy  +, writes (6 June 2010):
hey!umm...it happened with me also,i broke up with him because he liked some other girl and after some days he msgd me the he misses me and all but i straight away said NO i'm not coming back to you.It was him because of which we broke up and i had already made up my mind to move on just like you.I have hell lot of things to do in my life other than that ass!Hope you do the right thing! :)
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