A
female
age
36-40,
*1sha
writes:Hi all, I am a 26 year old girl and my boyfriend is 31 years old. We have been in a relationship for 1 year. I had a difficult period at about 5 months and again at 7 months, each time I became uncontrollably jealous of other girls. The first time it was a text from an ex that set me off and I got incredibly angry with him and confronted him about it. The second time he began discussing marriage and I got insanely jealous that he would leave me for someone else. I checked his email and facebook and then confronted him about messages that in retrospect clearly meant nothing at all. He forgave me for all this and we are going really well again now. Only last week we had another serious discussion about marriage which he initiated and I was so happy. I should mention that he is Egyptian Muslim and I am white British. I am learning Arabic and converting to Islam to make this relationship work as I feel that I love him and want to marry him. We have a few obstacles to overcome first such as introducing me to his mother which I know he is terrified about.Sadly this evening I logged onto facebook and he had changed his profile picture and a girl who always comments on his facebook actions had written ‘nice photo ?’. I know it sounds silly and incredibly banal now but I got upset as she is also Egyptian Muslim and I felt threatened by her showing him this attention. So I texted him saying ‘Hmm.. not keen on this (name) girl. Who is she? Xxx’. To which he replied that he didn’t know her, she is a member of his family and he has never met or spoken to her in his life. He later sent a text saying ‘Relax xxx’. I felt immediately regretful as I don’t want to sabotage this relationship but I just can’t seem to take control of my feelings of jealousy. I apologised profusely over text and he sent a further text saying ‘Seriously you are imaging stuff xxx’. I think it is better to just tell him when I feel like this and then he just to reassure me briefly and I’m ok. But my worries are that he will grow tired of re-assuring me as I have done some very intrusive things in the past like checking his emails and facebook. Should I tell him that I am insecure and I get a bit jealous sometimes but just a few words of re-assurance will help or should I just not mention it again? I really want this to work and I’m scared that my jealousy will drive him away. I do feel much better after a few words of reassurance.Please help
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