A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,This is similar to my previous post but i've edited it and added more things...I havent been on many dates in my lifetime. Maybe around 3 so far. Never had a boyfriend, only casually 'gotten to know' guys but things didn't work out because they turned out to be people someone they weren't and i ended up getting hurt pretty badly.I'm 18 years old and my friends cousin introduced me to this guy he knows. We didn't meet in person but we swapped blackberry pins and started talking every single day on blackberry messenger for about a month and a bit. In that month we became really good friends and he told me around a week ago that he likes me and that he would like to see me.. he's 19 years old so he's not that much older... And on Tuesday we decided to meet up.He lives about an hour away by train but I went to his house and even though it was the first time meeting him I had told my friend and my friends cousin that i was going there, just to be on the safe side.He was exactly what i had expected.. He was very kind and friendly. He had told me to bring a couple of dvds so that we could watch them at his house. So once i got to the station, he met me there, we went to the supermarket, bought some snacks and non-alcoholic drinks then made our way to his house.Once we got there we were talking for about an hour, then decided to put the film in to watch, half way through he made some pasta bake for us to eat and whilst we were in the kitchen he said..."We never hugged each other at the station, may I have a hug?"So i gave him a hug but i was slightly shy so it was more of a one arm hug and he said..."That was such a stiff hug, I want a proper one lol"So I hugged him again which lasted for a few seconds.Once we ate, we carried on watching the film and he was just messing about and throwing cushions at me and nudging me... but being cute about it.He then started to mess about and started doing silly karate movements lol and kicked my bum about 3 times.We then had to cut it short because his aunt rang him and asked him to come over to her house so that he could baby sit his little cousin while his aunt went out to dinner.After he got off the phone with her he was pretty annoyed and wasn't in a good mood cos he wanted me to stay longer. And when I said "It's alright, it's not your fault". He said "No its not alright, I made plans with you and now theyve been interrupted. It's not okay"When it was time to go, he dropped me to the bus stop and waited with me for the bus to come. In those 15 minutes we were just joking around and quizzing each other on capital cities of different countries. (I dont know how that came about but it was something to talk about)As the bus was approaching, he hugged me once again and said "I'm so sorry about cutting it short, I'll make it up to you, I promise."Then when I had gotten home I thanked him for the time we spent together and he apologised twice saying that he was really sorry about cutting it short then went to bed.I havent spoken to him properly since I saw him and usually we're ALWAYS talking on bbm. I know it's only been a few days but i'm just curious as to what he thinks. I don't want to rush things and start asking him what he thought of me because we've only met up once..The whole of wednesday he had his blackberry switched off and I spoke to him in the evening and he was being verrryyy moody with me. I sussed out that maybe he had a bad day (hence his phone being off) and I dont think I helped by asking what was wrong with him because he said in a very rude manner that i was 'pissing him off with the questions and that i should stop' but I only asked him one question...Then the whole of thursday he didn't talk to me either but sent a kiss emoticon to me at night and didnt say a word after. So when I started to make a convo after that he started giving me rude one-word replies.Then friday we didnt talk at all, and today being Saturday, he randomly sent me a smiley face on bbm, so I wrote 'Hello' in reply to that and he read it and didnt bother replying back.Im totally confused! Why is he being so rude but then sending me 'smiley faces' or 'kiss emoticons'.I asked a few friends and I was reading up on Cancer guys and nearly every site says that they have mood swings and give off mixed signals. Im not saying that i should base everything on his star sign but coincidentally, it matches.
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cousin, different countries, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Take a break from him. You've been open about your feelings and he's reacted like a jerk without even saying how he felt, which is really unfair. You've done all you could about it, and now it's his move.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 It doesn't sound like he likes you. He hasn't talked to you much, if he has he's been rude. Nor has he rescheduled your casual date. Then he goes on to call you clingy when you flat out tell him you like him.
I seriously wouldn't look into the smiley faces on texts, some people I text overuse them, or some use them sometimes. But they're not a mood indicator and there's no hidden meaning behind them. If anything he's toying with you.
Drop this guy and go on about your business, because it's looking like there is nothing to come of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was so fed up of thinking that I just started a conversation to get to the bottom of things.
Me: I dont like how things have changed between us.
Him: Neither do i
Me: Why has it? I thought everything was fine on tuesday
Him: It still is. I dont know why it's changed, it just has.
Me: Okay well i'm gonna take it as youre not interested anymore?
Him: What dyou mean by interested?
Me: As in, you said you liked me. So i just need a clear understand of where i stand with you.
Him: Nooo because i dont get you. Youre not being clear.
Me: Okay ill make it easier for you. What am I to you?
Him: You tell me, because you were the one that kept calling us friends...
Me: Well i'm not going to front, I like you. But i dont know what youre thinking.
Him: Well I dunno, I dont want to make a decision and then have the situation between us change, thats not fair. Look how much its changed already...
Me: Yeah I understand. But I only stopped talking to you because I thought you were made at me.
Him: Why would I be mad at you?
Me: Cos you told me the other day that I was annoying you./
Him: Cos you were being annoying, like... clingy.
Me: I didnt mean to come across like that, I was just concerned cos you werent in a good mood and obv I care.
Him: I understand that. But it showed me what you liking me is like.
Me: Im not defending myself. But its only because we stopped talking completely after we met up so I thought something was up.
Him: We've stopped talking before though.
Me: Not of what I remember but either way, i'm sorry for coming across that way. I didnt know what you thought especially after it was the first time meeting, so I was just curious.
Him: I get that, but it wasnt needed.
Can anyone please help me?
Im legit so confused.
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