A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since past 3 weeks me and this friend of mine didnt had good time. We had been through cold issues, ignored each other, pretended to be okay yet it was hearbreaking for both of us and then got back again. All of this we (rather I went through) just to hear something that I already knew.Coming to the main issue,So he knew something was wrong with me I was distancing myself from him but he wanted to know what was the reason. 3 weeks back he tried and tried hard to know why I was behaving distance. I was fumbling and had fear of being heartbroken because I loved him, yes I was in love with him but I felt somewhere that he dont feel the same for me neither we had future together so I wanted to keep it in me and I didn't speak up. To this he went so depressed and sad that our friendship got cold. We started ignoring each other but I knew he was broken by me walking away. After ignoring for weeks I again confronted him today to make him understand that I cannot open up certain things because I was not ready to face the outcome. I tried making him understand alot...! Alot...!! That how it will affect me. I expected him to understand and excuse me for this moment atleast. But instead he kept on saying things in positive way that did give me a hint that maybe he feels the same and so he wants me to speak up. He was provoking me to let it out. But still I urged him to not force me. Then he said until I wont say it he wont let me go. And slowly slowly I got under his influence and decided to speak up. I didnt had courage, I still had doubt but being all vulnarable I spoke up "I have grown feelings for u and do u feel same the way I feel for u." And he was like " what kind of feelings I am not understanding" ( he knew it very well what I wanted to say it was obvious) then I said " I like u" he said purposely "sorry I didnt heard u" I said it again in loud "I like u"All in return I got this useless explaination " look I have equal feelings for all the friends in my life and I will keep caring and loving u all just the way I do. And yes ur special amongst all those because I had never been so close to any girl the way I've been with u..." He have no idea that he literally forced me to say all my feelings which I knew are not same for him just to get his rejection...!!!And now, right now he is floading his status with heartbreaks and depression quotes which is making confused. Here I'm the one who is broken yet staying strong and he is devasted. Why is he behaving like this, just because rejected me. It is affecting me alot.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2018): You are not being honest and nor is he.Perhaps culturally you have to show a certain amount of caution.He wanted you to say "I love you!" but you said " I like you! " Then he very cleverly said that he has many friends he likes and he values them all as friends! "Really his answer was so smart you could think he was a character in a book but maybe it is cultural restriction that makes you say everything and then say nothing at all!I think you have both got caught in this.How about taking it beyond words and cooking him something tasty to eat and presenting it to him and seeing what he says.Will he complement the food or will he complement you?It doesn't matter which way it is but you need to look at his eyes while he speaks because he is good with words and you might see more of his feelings in his eyes.He is a bit melodramatic in his courtship with his sad and depressed icons on his web page because he could be just as easily phoning you or emailing you.Also it was bad manners on his part to expect you to say "I like you!" twice but he was probably phishing to hear " I love you! "He should know that he had to do a lot more than play hard to get to make you say "I love you!" What has he done to deserve being told '"I love you! "?Has he offered his hand in marriage and spoken to your and his parents! Has he bought you a ring? Has he made you the happiest person in the world?All he has done so far is to bring confusion and I think he could do much better than that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2018): He didn’t reject you
He told you he loves you as a friend . You need to realise this . The heartbreak etc maybe about someone else not you . I would ask him what that status was about nicely for clarification . You need to think can you be friends only with this guy . Really think . Then if the answer yes then let him know and make sure you friend zone him too. Not wven later if he admits later he likes you , he lost his chance . You deserve way better in the romance area.
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