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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating my bf for almost half year, he rarely looks jealous. He liked to party, to revenge, I went to party this weekend and two guys walked around to ask my numbers, I told him later on, he just asked, "did you give it to them?" My birthday other friend sent me a bunch of flowers, when he stepped into my house with flower, he just said-"oh, I am not the first one sending you flowers" he did not bother to ask who sent that at all.He knew I love him so much, I feel insecure when he went to party with his single mates, he at least partied 3 times every weekend and stayed there very late like 3am or even later.Does this mean he does not care me that much? Since he talked me he really loves me as well and wants to be with me, I think we both take it seriously, so I do not want to play games like"play hard to get" stuff, but any tips how should I do for this relationship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, miss ellie-may +, writes (18 April 2006):
 in the nicest possible way you do come across as being the (potentiallu) jelous type. boys can be bastads but 9 times outa 10 i dont believe that theyre actually stupid. if hes picking up on a jelous vibe from you then from his point of view the best way to stop the situation becoming a problem may be to just behave in the total opposite way, show you that he has enough faith in your relationship not to get jelous and that you should as well!! think of it this way, if he sees flowers and gets jelous then on some level that means that he can picture you with another guy - i think it says more about his commitment and love for you that he cant picture either of u with anyone else!
A
female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (18 April 2006):
 Personally I think you should count your lucky stars that you don't have a jealous, suspicious boyfriend. If he is showing you that he cares for you in other ways then you have nothing to worry about. Maybe he feels that you need your freedom and shoudl be allowed to give other people your number if thats what you want to do. Maybe doing these things DOES make him a little jealous but he doesn't want to show it, or seem to be trying to control you. The last thing you should be doing is trying to provoke his jealousy... you say you don't like playing games, well this is one you defintely shouldn't be playing.
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A
female
reader, Mariels +, writes (18 April 2006):
Hello,
It can be a good thing when someone doesn't get jealous - it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. At the same time, please try not to do anything intentionally to make him jealous. He sounds like he loves you, and he is probably just happy for you because other people find you attractive, and he knows that you chose to be with him out of all the people you could have chosen. Jealousy can make people bitter and do things they regret just to spite you to get you back. If you both make each other feel good, you don't need jealousy in the equation to try and make things a bit more exciting.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (18 April 2006):
 I am not sure wanting your partner to be jealous is a good thing. He asked if you gave it them and that showed he was bothered. Maybe it is a good sign that he feels secure in the relationship and settled.
With regards to the question of partying I think it is a question of balance. He should be allowed his own space with his own friends but not to excess, if it is an issue then it is something you need to discuss and resolve jointly and i dont think tit-for-tat is the way to do that.
I think the issue here is that you are insecure in the relationship and that is what needs to be addressed. Is there a reason for this other than his partying and lack of jealousy? Jealousy is a negative emotion and trying to encourage its growth is not the way to find any clues to the existence of a positive one, ie love. I think this is something you need to talk to him about and I am sure he will be able to reassure you of his feelings.
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