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Why have my friends become two faced, I've known them for years?

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Question - (7 June 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2011)
A female Australia age 36-40, *eccamega writes:

I got a message from my friend who moved interstate some time ago [I'll call her friend#1]. There was the usual chit chat, but then she mentioned that our other friend was flying up to see her [I'll call her friend #2]. Then she said "wish you were here too, miss you".

I was really pissed off. Why haven't they invited me? I've known these people for years.

I tried to make effort but friend #2 always made lame excuses not to see me. She either had too much homework [a lie, as she was only doing a short coarse]. Or she had no money [a lie as she had a job]. She took the cowards way out and cut me off, no answers, no nothing.

But suddenly for friend #1 she has both the time and money for a return flight? WTF?

I messaged friend #1 back. I said well I would've come if you had even bothered to message me. Why didn't you? And that friend #2 made lame excuses and basically cut me off.

Why would tehy do this? This is why I don't like about being friends with women, they're great at stabbing other women in the back.

View related questions: money, moved in

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 June 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI guess it's time for some new friends honestly. Friend #2 doesn't seem very... friendly.

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A female reader, meccamega Australia +, writes (7 June 2011):

meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou your right its her loss, not mine

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A male reader, Drew21 Canada +, writes (7 June 2011):

Drew21 agony auntBelieve me, i'm the last person to really understand friendships in the female world.

However I will try to give my take. Unfortunately it seems like Friend #2 may hold some discontent or dislike for you? At the very least she seems to favour Friend #1 over you.

I don't know that i would really blame Friend #1 for this. It seems like Friend #2 was calling the shots on this visit, and probably hoped that Friend #1 wouldn't mention it to you. Friend #1 probably didn't realize that it would hurt you so much to mention it.

It happens. I've been in circles of friends where there is someone who, if we weren't hanging in the same group, probably would want nothing to do with me, ya know?

But because i was friends with Friend #1, and he/she was a friend of Friend #1, as a result we hung out.

It kinda stinks, but i don't think i would let it bother you so much. Now you know where you stand with Friend #2, right?

So you know that you can just stop really putting forth the effort to visit her or come and visit you. You can still talk and be civil, but really it's her loss, right?

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