A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a male friend who I've liked as more than a friend for years now, but he always seems so unavailable. I've talked about him with other girls he know as well, and everyone thinks he's such a great guy. However he remains single! We were all wondering if he might be gay, but recently I had a conversation with him about this. I asked why he's not ever dated anyone, and he said it's because girls just don't see him as boyfriend material, that he's just not lucky that way. He said he has many friends who are girls and from hearing them talk about guys he knows he just doesn't have what it takes. Having fancied this guy for a longer time now (he was the one who turned me down) I really wonder if it's just me that's into weird guys or if he's the one who doesn't see what a catch he is. So let me describe him a bit, and you guys tell me if this is great boyfriend material or not?He's handsome and works out, so although he's a bit on the skinny side he still has a good definition. He's always attentive in conversations. He is the perfect gentleman, as in holding the door open, ladies first, he offers to pay for your drinks or coffee and food, and treats you to things even if he doesn't have much money himself. He doesn't drink much, likes to be active, rarely if ever smokes, and puts on a suit for the special occasions. In this respect he's textbook perfect boyfriend material, right? He's smart, funny, not afraid to do hard work, isn't picky about foods or work either (when he needed a job he took the first job he could get, while I know other guys who are picky about jobs and slack off because they don't find just what they prefer).The only downers I'm able to see about him is that he's 24 and never had a girlfriend, thus will be inexperienced at everything, he doesn't like to cook (but can bake), and the occasional smoking. He also enjoys playing computer games (I once dated a gamer addict so Im careful when it comes to guys who play games), yet he's a very social guy so it's not like he sits at home playing all his free time away. Like I said he likes to be active and outdoors. He also can be forgetful, which must be the worst part about him as he can honestly forget about what day it is, or forget about an agreement you had. But.. no one's perfect. And with that being his worst flaw, it's not much is it?So... Why on earth hasn't he had a girlfriend yet? Am I completely blind or is he the one who is blind to his own qualities?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Just because he's a good guy doesn't mean women will want to date him. It's been the experience of myself and my friends that unless you're extremely confident and make the first move, you'll be in the Friend Zone and never get out of it. The "good guys" are usually shy or lack confidence (and your guy sounds like he's in that boat) so they don't go out and risk rejection twenty times in the hope of getting a girl to say "yes" once. It doesn't mean he's gay, just that he's not good at playing the dating game.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Everybody is different and maybe he is just not sure how to approach a woman and ask her out on a date. He may just feel more comfortable being friends with girls. If he turned you down then its obvious he knows you like him but he just wasnt interested. Maybe he is just not looking for a girlfriend, every man is different and he is entitled to live his life whatever way he wants. Its good that he has female friends in his life some day he may look for a girlfriend but obviously now is not the right time.
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