A
male
age
30-35,
*licew
writes:I have known mi fiancee since past 4 years and been together for 3 years in a long distance relationship and it was pretty stable. I just got engaged recently and have been having marriage fears of1. "I'M SCARED TO MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS LESS THAN I(in looks)."2. "I'M SCARED THAT SOMEONE BETTER WILL COME ALONG.Should i tell her that im having exactly these fears? I think she'll be very upset as she loves me very much?Will it help reduce the fears if i discuss them with her?
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engaged, fiance, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): If in doubt, don't get married! Also, you need to make your standards a little less shallow.
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 There's always the chance that someone will come along that appears to be better for you than your partner, but when you get engaged and married to someone, you are making the promise that you don't care! You're vowing that even IF you meet someone "better" in the future, the only person you want is your partner. If you aren't ready to make that promise and to keep that promise, then you aren't ready to marry this woman.
And looks? Bah... if looks are that big of an issue for you and this woman isn't up to the standards you feel you require, then move on and let her find someone that thinks she's beautiful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): If you have these doubts then it doesnt sound like your sensire and ready for marriage. I think you need to mature more before you settle down because marriage is a huge thing and if you're paniking about something as shallow as the first point then I don't think this is the right person for you if your like this before your even married
hope it all works out for the best
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Ok well your first fear is really shallow and pathetic. Looks shouldnt matter at all when it comes to loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. Yes its true that you need to be attracted to them but measuring them against your own looks is very judgemental, rude and vain.
As for your second reason again if you dont feel that she is the woman for you then tell her. If you fear that someone better may come along then its obvious you dont feel strong enough for this woman to want to spend the rest of your life with her. Be honest with her.
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