A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Last year I fell for my guy friend, and all of our mutual friends kept telling me how they thought he liked me back. So I decided to go for it at a party we were both going to, but that night he made out with another girl. He definitely had no idea what I was planning to do, cause I hadn't told anybody.So after that, we eventually drifted apart, because I was really cold towards him and didn't put any effort into our friendship any more. As far as I was concerned, my feelings for him were obvious, since everybody else had guessed, and therefore what he had done was out of order. Now, a year later, a mutual friend popped up out of the blue and told me that they'd been hanging around with aforementioned guy friend, and when my name had been brought up, he'd looked really upset, and when asked what was wrong, he said he still felt really terrible about what he'd done the year before, and that he thought I hated him. So a few days later, I was going by his house on a way to another friend's house, and decided to stop by and let him know that I don't hate him, that he didn't actually do anything wrong, because it's not like we were together, and that I'd realised a long time ago that he's not a malicious person, so I believe now that he didn't know I liked him at the time.When I told him all of this, he replied, quite obviously upset, saying that he couldn't describe how sorry he is, that it's the worst thing he's ever done to anybody, that I deserved better, and that whenever my name's brought up or whenever he thinks about me, he still feels really guilty. I told him that he shouldn't feel bad, because like I said, we weren't together, he didn't know how I felt. Then he said that he thought I liked his best friend, who was present that night at the party. I assured him that I didn't, that it was always him I liked, and then after a little conversation, I asked him if we were cool, and he nodded and gave me a bear hug. Then I asked if this meant we'd start hanging around again, and he grinned dead wide and said definitely, and as walked away, he called after me saying he'd come round mine soon. During the conversation he also said he was really touched by the fact I'd come all the way to his house just to tell him I didn't hate him, as well. And he told me I was looking good. Oh, and the whole time we were talking he kept looking down at my lips and then back up to my eyes, and I think he hugged me about four times in the five minutes I was there.I've spoken about it with my friends, and they all seem to think that he made out with that girl at the party out of spite, or to make me jealous, because he thought I liked his best friend and was upset by it.But now, it's almost a week later, and he hasn't tried to make contact at all. He doesn't have my number, and I don't have facebook or anything like that, but I live around the corner from him, so he could stop by. I just don't really understand, he seemed so happy and excited to see me, so eager to apologise, and so excited to be friends with me again. I don't understand why he hasn't came round to see me. Wow, this is kind of like one of those, "Why hasn't he called me?" questions, isn't it? Any ideas why he hasn't bothered to try and see me since that day?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): It's either he wants you to come running after him to boost his ego or he is just not that into you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): He seems pretty genuine, but only you know if thats true as you know him better than anyone on here. I would say he could be shy, its a big thing to go round someones house and ask in person rather than a text or facebook, so he could be abit shy.
You could make the first move, go round his house, see how he and ask to meet up, or if you see him out ask for his number. But getting his number is a must! It will make things easier. Some people find it hard to do this upfront, face to face, espeically if they do have feelings, alot of people say they will do something, but then when it comes to it they find it difficult.
On the other hand I guess he could not be interested but from what you said, I highly doubt it! If anything it seems like hes a very "closed" person, and even the most confident people can appear shy at the strangest times.
I would give it a little longer than a week, as you never know he could have been extremely busy. If he hasn't called round in another week or two maybe go and see him. Obviously you don't want to be the one doing the chasing but just giving it a head start doesn't mean you'll chase him.
Just pluck up the courage to do it, you never know where it might lead. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, nat1972  +, writes (17 September 2012):
 Give him time, perhaps he is just busy. Does he know where you live? Im sure he was very touched to see you. Maybe he is seeing someone at present.
So he hasn't come by. Do you know his number, maybe be the first to ask him out. Go to the movies or organise an event and ask him to come along. Make the first move and see where you go from there.
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