A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So me and my Gf have been dating for almost 3 years. Im 27,she is 26.Since last year she has been talking and hinting about getting engaged. To make things worse, her cousin and 2 of her friends got engaged,so all the pressure was me.She said it would be a dream come true this year.So i thought about it, and decided we would get engaged this year. Ive promised her i would buy the ring 2 months ago,but due to financial circumstances,i havent bought it yet. So a few days ago we were chatting on IM service, and i told her i once again could not buy a ring,she then said its ok,i musnt worry about it. So as a joke,i said ok,we wont get engaged this year then,then she said,"ok then,its fine". I found this very odd,because she was so eager just a few days ago.So I then asked her if she still wanted to get engaged this year,she said shes not sure.I asked her why she suddenly changed her mind.All she said was she doesnt want to get married yet. This left me totally confused.So my question is,why, or who, or what has made her change her mind,so quickly. Please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 I think she has not changed her mind, but she thinks you don't want to get married. Big difference.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (7 April 2011):
I'm sorry but the only true answer is "anything could have happened" from "she's afraid of getting engaged" to "she's found someone else".You have to talk to her more in order to find out. And maybe you have to look closely to her actions so you can make some conclusions yourself.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Maybe she wants to wait till you are both financially secure but is afraid to say so without making you feel bad, and more pressured. Marriage is not a race. She is not changing her mind, actually just taking the pressure off of you. She wants you to be the one to propose eagerly, not because you are asking him to.
This is what I would think if there are otherwise no problems in the relationship. Her friends are making her rushing to get married, and now she is questioning why all the hurry. You can talk about this with her, what I just wrote. If you are thinking of marriage then you should feel free to say anything to her. If she's hiding something better know now than regret later.
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Hey,
She may think you do not want to anymore, because even though you cannot financially get the ring, she may think its because you just don't wan't to get engaged and married... talk to her, and tell her the honest truth, and i am sure she will realize that you are sincere about her, and things will get back to normal, and tell her when you can financially get engaged, that you most certainly will!
Hope i helped :)
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