A
male
age
36-40,
*erremy
writes:we are both in our 20,sWe never went out but had serious chemistry. We were on the verge of going out then her ex came back into the picture. She never got back with him but I guess talking to him made her like him more and me less. She played mind games with me. She had me on a string. I asked her out and she "didn't want a bf" She honestly can't say a single bad thing about me. I never treated her bad or anything. This whole game went on for almost a YEAR!!!She gets a new BF for a couple months [this was a few months after she rejected me]. They broke up and she contacts me again saying im over guys and i dont want relathionships.I believe that people RARELY change and I'm confused.She also said "i want to set you up with my friends or go and meet other girls?"So that's where I need help...I still have feelings for her. I'm not going to pretend nothing happened before.BUT why would she get back in contact with me again and then act like she wants to set me up with her friends and tells me things like she doesnt want relathionships......etc is this reverse psycology shes using on me ? or something else as i cant read these girls
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (6 August 2009):
 No matter how well you treat them, some people still won't like you (as much as you'd wish, at least) and you will have to come to terms with that. It can be very hard coming to terms with a rejection, but you can't 'make' someone want to be with you, any more than you can make yourself get over that someone right now, in the blink of an eye, when the matter is recent. Give yourself a little time. You may experience this in the future from the other side of the fence, too: someone may be nice to you but because you are already in a relationship, or you have your mind set on someone else, or for any certain reason, you will not accept them. Good for you that you treated her well and that she has nothing bad to say about you. You have to move on though, just as she did. In time, you will know when it's wise to insist and when not to, reading the signs better. It takes time to see when a 'no' is a clear, definite no and when a 'no' can actually mean 'not right now' (maybe later?) How much later? Well, how much later will you afford to wait? Think about you, too, not only the other person. This girl may feel sorry about leading you on and it could be her way to make it up to you, by planning to 'set you up' with other girls. Try to move your focus from her. Later on, when you will feel like dating again, go and have fun, and let it be your choice who you wish to date. Good luck.
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