A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help! I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and our sex life has become non-existant. It started a year ago when I realized he was never going to go down on me, despite the fact that I give him fanastic BJs everytime. (Really - I could suck the nails out of a board and that's a fact!) My previous boyfriend loved doing it to me and constantly raved about how great it was, so I finally became really comfortable with receivng oral. But with my current boyfriend, he never really did it, despite brazillians, etc. I started thinking about it, and he really didn't give me any kind of foreplay like putting his hands all over me, kissing me all over, sucking tits, or anything. Also, he always kept his eyes closed most of the time. I gave him great foreplay, everything from erotically kissing him all over, to massage and great BJs. He always talks about how hot looking I am and there is no question that he has been attracted to me physically and he told me that he loved me after about two months. I love him too, but I don't know why he's so selfish in bed. It really hurt me and I tried talking to him about it in the beginning and asked him about closing his eyes and not really even touching me, but he just acted like its not weird and I'm just exaggerating or something. Because I was working 70 hours a week and I'm a single parent, we started sleeping together less often a year ago, and because I was tired of not being satisfied in bed, I was basically fine with that. (I usually never orgasm with intercourse, however he doesn't know that because I faked it from the beginning, thinking he'd get to oral eventually.) But now I'm really bummed that we're not having sex. We are in our 40s and I know he isn't cheating because I watch for any signs and check up on things to make sure. He isn't in to porn and never had trouble getting/maintaining erections or achieving orgasms, so there is not ED issues, etc. I really don't think it's because he feels insecure about his oral skills, because there is more going on than that. I don't know what to do to get things going again, and in a mutally pleasureable way. Please help.
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female
reader, Crazygirl20  +, writes (30 November 2010):
You need to talk to him, find out why he doesnt do foreplay and tell him if he doesnt start giving you attention, you wont give him any because it isnt fair. Give him some tips, maybe have a night where you can teach eachother different things, tell him what you like, maybe you could get some things from Ann summers like a book, sex toys and sexy lingerie to spice things up a bit, go out for a meal and make sure that you both look really good so that you wont be able to resist eachother all night. Make time for eachother, find out what turns eachother on, your fantasies. Maybe you could watch porn with him or do something that could turn him on. Teasing him would also be another option,if you're going to give him oral, dont give it to him in one go, when he gets really turned on, stop and kiss him. You could even move his hand to your breast or down below to guide him and when he closes his eyes, tell him to look at you as its sexier. I hope this helps. Good luck!
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