A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi guys can anyone tell me how to sort this out ?ive worked with a guy for over a year im really fond of him and we were very close friends. he was in a bad way when i met him and viewing him as a good friend i did all i could to help him. i helped him financially and with work and was a support for him. then i noticed he began to change and became very cocky and confident-like he didnt need me much. last week we had a blazing row and we've barely spoken since-really bad atmosphere because we were working together and i asked him which way he wanted to work and he said a certain way but was moaning he hadnt had a coffee so i thought of a quicker way to get him to your drink but because i hadnt told him he got the hump and said i wasnt considering him ????? i was so mad and up til now he says im in the wrong. after everything ive done for him im fuming but i still have to work with him but i havent been so far. im really upset. whats the best thing to do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 November 2010):
 I am sorry to say he is not a very grateful person who is demonstrating signs of arrogance. You have been his temporary social worker and sorted out his life problems for him. He has a user personality as the previous poster says. You will encounter people who can be emotional fleas - they suck the energy right out of you as you try your best to help them, and then jump right off to find the next source of help. He sees people as commodities to pick up and drop according to their perceived worth - it can be part of a personality disorder. You sound like a VERY NICE PERSON and you have done nothing wrong. Stop being upset about it and put this into context - he has shown his true colours, he is the poorer person for not appreciating your contribution to his life. Now just let him get on and don't make a great effort to maintain the friendship. If he has another crisis in the future (he will) then avoid stepping in to help this time. Nice people like you deserve to be treated with respect. If he doesn't want to respect you, that is his choice but you can reciprocate by avoiding him unless in work. Your life lesson from this is that it is ok to help people, but they have got to want to help themselves too. There are lots of more balanced people in the world who can be your friend. Just be self-aware that people like your work-mate are attracted to your open, friendly, kind personality. Therefore when new people come into your life then you need to be sure they really like you and won't take advantage of your compassionate nature. Chin up and remember you did nothing wrong, so don't try to repair what you didn't break!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): He's used you and doesn't sound a very nice person. If you have to work along side with him then be civilized but I wouldn't get too involved with him beyond that.Keep your distance.
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