A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for 3.5 years and have been living together for 2.5 years everything was going well until out of the blue he told me he didn't love me anymore. When this happened i felt lost i didn't know where our future was going. He then said he didn't mean it a few days later and that he ws sorry. There was this guy at work that on the same day split from his gf and we started talking a lot. He was kind caring funny just a real nice person. He came into work and he gave me cuddle and i just melted it felt amazing. We continued to talk but i knew it needed to stop as i started developing feelings so i decided to meet him to explain myself but we ended up kissing. The kiss was out of this world and the attraction between us was very strong. We continued to chat and kissed a few times after but whilst all this was going on he had said he would could just be friends and have me in his life if i can't continue. This continued for about 6 weeks talking then he stopped. He doesn't make any contact with me other than work and he will not stay on the phone no more than 5 mins. I understand that he has got to get on with his life and i'm not in a situation to give him more but i don't understand what i have done wrong to deserve the cold shoulder. He says he could never get bored of me and that i know how he feels but i really don't. I feel like i wanna ask but i don't want to seem pushy. I have heard through work that he meet someone if thats the case i would rather him say than avoid me. My boss also found out and i am not sure if she might have said something to him.Does anyone understand this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): Basically if you are not free to have a relationship with him then why bother to take this any further. He obviously liked you but could see that the situation was complicated. He has done the right thing and is trying to move on. Only if you are on your own should you pursue this. Its not fair on him and he seems like a nice guy.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (30 November 2010):
 Ok quite simply - he is giving you the cold shoulder because he likes you, but your are unavailable because you are in a relationship therefore he cannot have you in his life anymore and wants to move on.
You were cheating on your partner and the guy at work knew this, he wanted you to either leave your partner for him or get out of his life and leave him alone. He has done the right thing here - being the man on the side is not a nice position to be in so he has got himself out of a messy situation.
So what you have done wrong is cheat on your boyfriend, and hurt another man in the process. The guy at work has just backed off from you because he cannot have you in his life, he obviously wanted a relationship with you but at the end of the day you were trying to start an affair with him and he wanted no part in that.
He is right here, and you are wrong. So leave him alone, and be happy for him if he has found someone new because at least he can be happy with a new girl who can give him what he wants. No contact is the best thing for you both, so dont try and speak to him - let him get on with his life and you can focus on your life, and your own relationship.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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