A
male
age
,
*1 years and lovin it
writes:I have a wonderful wife and relationship with her... Yet over the past several years she has lost her desire for sex....Even though we are both intimate and sexually satisified when we make love..... She has seemed to have lost her desire for sex.I am a romantic and tell her I love her constantly plus never leave for work without kissing her. We hold hands always and love to be together. She loves me very much and I love her with all my heart! I just don't understand why she has has lost the desire that still runs deep in me! Please help before I begin to go astray seeking what that is missing! Signed:Seeking passion again
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): Ever thought to maybe enroll in some local classes you and wife could take on how to rekindle the marriage fires, strengthen the marriage, or even purchase some books or audio cd's to listen to on the morings and evening commutes?
For women, sexual intimacy doesn't always equate with sex.
Have you thought to ask if there is more you could be doing to enhance the intimacy? Like maybe she would like more massages, more kisses, more hugs, more snuggling.
If Wife is struggling with her own self image on attractiveness or is more withdrawn and disinterested; these are usually signs of some issue that is effecting her happiness.
I find when I am unhappy or unrestful, I would like more hugs and affection over sex. Women and men do differ in this regard.
I agree with CD that this could be chemical/physical related which would effect her mental state.
Couples counselling is a good avenue to explore to open up the communication as it seems to be lacking in that you and wife may not feel you can be open and honest with one another. Wife could also, just not know what she thinks and feels at this moment but may be content with her life.
Counselling will add to your relationship and re-teach you how to trust in one another and how to speak and listen to one another where you will both feel safe and loved.
It warms my heart to know that you are aware of how you are feeling and what you may need and it is a start. Counselling will have both you and wife working together to figure this out and get you both back on track with one another.
Best Wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): I agree with the other aunt that menopause could be a factor in her waning desire. If she is in the 41 to 50 year age range it well be an issue. You say some things that sound contradictory to me. You say that you are both sexually satisfied when you are intimate....so that does not seem to mesh with your comment that she has lost the desire. You also mention that you want this problem solved before you look elsewhere BUT you love her with all of your heart. We both know that if you look elseswhere that this relationship will at best compromised....at worst..she will find out and leave you. Do not look elsewhere if you want to keep this relationship. Perhaps she is going through a transiton time in her life. Have you had children together and might they have left? Is she working in a stressful work environment and might that be contribuing to her unhappiness. She may not be the exact Barbie to your Ken but you need to look at what she is going through and and what she has been to you through the years...you have a history. Perhaps you may never again the grand passion you had when you are younger...I guess it comes down to whether you can live with that or not.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Possibly she's about to or currently going through the menopause. This kills a lot of womens' sex drives.
CD
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