A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey guys, I am 23 years old, and my boyfriend is 22, we have been together for almost 2 years. I have been noticing that he isn't expressing his feelings as well as he used to. Our second anniversary is coming up, and I don't even feel like he likes me, because he never shows it. I know sometimes you don't have to say it, but you can also show it. But he isn't even showing it. I always have to be the one to ask for a hug. I send him really nice emails, and he just says oh that was beautiful. We go weeks without hugging, kissing, anything, unless I pretend to get mad if he doesn't. We don't have sex, but that's because we're waiting until after marriage. So that's not an issue. But he doesn't ignore me, he takes me out, spends time with me, he just doesn't show his feelings. We are both in college, so sometimes it gets very stressful, but I don't think this is from stress. He was never like this before. I brought it up once, I asked if he likes me anymore, and he said I like you as much as ever. I really feel like as his gf, I shouldn't have to ask for certain things like hugs. I also wanted to tell him I love him for the first time on our anniversary, but now i think I shouldn't because I feel like he doesn't like me. I know there isn't another girl involved, I know 100% there is no chance that he could be cheating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): thanks for the answers. The reason we aren't planning a future together yet, is mainly because we don't live together.
We are both in college, and we live with our parents. He doesn't have a job, and I work only to pay for lunch and bus fares for myself. We both plan on going to grad school after graduation, so we will both have loans.
There is no way, we can afford to live together. Not until, we get full-time careers.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 May 2013):
It’s been two years… you guys are pretty young and at this point it settles down and life becomes routine.
IF you want more hugs than he wants to give you, then you either have to ask for them or you have to do without. My hubby and I go in spurts, there are times I need more affection than he does and there are times he needs more. We have a cute way to ask for a kiss we go to the other and we purse our lips and just look at each other. No words.
I understand you are not being sexual with each other and maybe that’s part of the reason he is not being physically affectionate. He may become so aroused from a hug or a cuddle or kiss that’s he’d rather have nothing. The other issue is that he’s not really that into you and he’s just biding his time till he finds someone else. The only way to know is to ask him.
I have to be honest at age 22-25 after 2 years together, not being physical, not saying I love you and not yet planning a wedding… I’m wondering if the relationship has run it’s course.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (2 May 2013):
As you both have decided not to have sex until after you marry maybe this is his way of self control.This situation needs to be talked about because this is the Only way that you will get answers.There is also something you would want to be aware of that sometimes THE MAGIC goes.Its very painful on you the way you feel and very stressful.So have a long indept chat with him and try and sort it out Best Wishes Nora B.
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