A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why after 4 months in a relationship and 5 months prior to that 'dating' - has my boyfriend whom I love, not introduced me to his family? I'm starting to get seriously paranoid!! Not only has he met my family and friends, but he's actually formed close relationships with a lot of them, he stays in my house, my mum adores him, he goes out with my friends... and yet, I don't even know what his house looks like?Is he ashamed of me???? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2014): It also happens that the man hasn't yet sorted the issues with the previous girlfriend he was staying with. or he is afraid to introduce you to his relatives because he once introduce somebody to them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for taking the time to answer my post. I suppose my question wasn't too detailed, but to be honest i'm not sure it's his family he's ashamed about- from what he talks about, it seems he comes in fact, from a very stable, loving family unit. He has a mum and dad and two other brothers. He's clearly been brought up well, and he always, always talks about them positively- but yet he's never asked me to meet them.
I've met his friends a few times yes, and get on well with them.
Despite your advice, (and believe me, i can discuss anything with him)- i feel a little embarrased about asking him to introduce me. To me, it seems a little desperado? Like, as if i'm 'rushing' the relationship or something? The funny thing is, who EVER is keen to meet the inlaws? Not me- it's just the fact that he hasn't asked.
Also, he barley ever talks about his past- but over a few conversations i've distingushed that his last girlfriend was allowed to stay at his house.
ALSO- (i know his older brother very very very well, as we used to work together, i haven't seen his brother since i got promoted and since me and my boyfriend have got together)------i know for a fact that his brother's girlfriend stays over all the time, and practically lives there, and is very close to the family...
so like i say, it's not necessarily the family issue. I think it's me?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): i personally find it difficult to talk to family members(i never tell them i'm in a relationship) the ony time a girlfriend comes to my house is when i know there all out and wont be back for a while. to answer "is he ashamed of me?" how does he behave towards you in front of your family and friends? if he isnt affraid to show you how he feels(hugs, kisses ect..) he isnt ashamed of you. has he introduced you to any of his close friends as his girlfriend?
the best thing you can do is listen to jessica04 and ask him but dont put too much pressure on him to be completely open cos he might be uncofortable with be open about feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): I agree with the other Aunts here. Hun, reading your posting and seeing that he spends a lot of time at your place, is telling me, you may have a young man who has some deeply troubling family issues. He is 'not' ashamed' of you. It sounds like he cares very much for you, but you should be asking him about his family, to gain an understanding of why you cannot meet them. Assure him that no matter what you hear, you will love him and will not 'judge' him. Sadly, in this world, not all of us have commendable, functional families. In other words, family does not denote character. Family only carries value when there is love, character and sharing. And maybe his family aren't this way. Maybe by being around your family, he recognizes his own familie's shortcomings. Ask him directly, "why' you can't meet his family. Love means being honest. open and communicating with caring. Ask him to do that for you. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): It might just be that he is ashamed of his family and/or that they have embarrassed him in front of his last girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (31 March 2009):
 Have you asked him why?
Maybe his family dynamic is much different from yours, maybe he is embarrassed by them. You never know until you ask. Just tell him you would like to met his family now, and wish it had happened sooner. If he says no, then you have every right to ask why.
Just understand that every family has it's skeletons, and maybe he is uncomfortable sharing their's for whatever reason.
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