A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi :-)iam a 19 year old girl who is very confused about a relationship with this boy who attends the same college as me. I know a fair deal about the lad's background which i shuld share with you even though some of it is confidental. He is 17 and is living at home alone without the support of his parents who left him cuz they had to work abroad and didnt want to disrupt his education ,and his father has a mental condition which is mild depression. :-(I liked this boy and i encountered him a few months ago and he wasnt interested in me initially. But i had a funny instinct that his feelings for me had started to change so i kept an eye out on his behaviour and i had a funny feeling he was doing the same to me as well cuz i caught him making eye contact with me at times (he associates with the same frienship group as me). Whenever he was alone, i took advantage of this oppurtunity and asked him to walk in the park with me. We have kissed a few times and have held hands and seemed comfortable with me at one point, but the next time i went to the park with him he held hands with me when i asked, but when i asked him to kiss me, he was pretty firm and replied no. Plus, i havent even discussed the relationship with him and i aint being specific in letting him know where he stands with me.The next week after that, he was fine with me and i felt awkward that i thought he was attempting to initiate eye contact with me and act normal. I was stupidly playing hard to get with him and was ignoring him and subtly flirting with the other guys in my group to make him jealous (pathetic i know lol. But now he wont speak to me and seems quite offish cuz wen i tried to link arms with him in a friendly manner, he snatched his arm away from me and I rung him a couple of days later, but he hung up on me twice unfortunately :-( My teacher who knows him personally sez that his other lecturers are concerned for him as he is falling behind with his studies and its been building up recently. :-( I approached him a few days later in college, and told him that i needed to speak to him but he said he was busy, but it looked like he wanted to say summat to me dunno if that was my imagination lmao. Any good advice on what i shuld do next? i am grateful for whoever has taken the time to read this long rambling situation and offer their best solutions to this dilemma :-) take care and thank you :-) xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Honey, I know you are disappointed but all you need to do is : leave him alone. Let him be.
You asked him a kiss and he said firmily no, you took his arm and he shook you off, you called him twice and he hung up on you. It's good to be proactive, and go for what you want, but if the feedback you get is negative, you have to graciously back off. You can't win them all. What do you wanna do more, force him to get a restraining order against you ?:)
You want to know why. One big "because " it's because he's only 17 and at that age guys are still immature and they change their mind very easily and what they like in the morning they dislike at night. another good reason is that maybe ,since is falling behuind at school, he 's worried about that. But the biggest because is the same old one which nobody wants to hear: because he was not that into you
to begin with. A couple of glances or a smile do not mean "I am in love with you " or "I desire you crazily " and you are surely neither the first girl nor the last to take a feeble sign of curiosity as a full blown declaration.
Don't worry- there's plenty of fish in the sea, and I bet your see is brimmimg of fish who'd actually love to be caught by you !
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