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female
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*ack Bauer's lover
writes: Hi,Me and my boyfriend have been together now for near 6 months.We've had a history together, we dated before and was with eachother for 2 years. We broke up and recently got back in contact with eachother after a year of not seeing eachother. We both felt the same and got back together, we have never been happier.I know this is the one for me, and i wanted to get engaged to him. I'm not ready to get married yet, so i wanted a long engagement.I had a friday off work sick, and deceided that is the day i would propose.We had talked about marriage before, and i asked him "If i asked you to marry me right now, what would you say?" He answered yes, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. However that was only a what if question.It wasn't the only time we mentioned marriage, we had spoke a few times about it, and everytime the answer was yes.So i brought the rings, laid the table brought red roses and waited for him to return. I had mentioned to him during the day i had a surprise for him.When he got back from work, i didn't have anything set up yet as he was going out to see a friend first and then returning to me.He asked me what the surprise was, and if i didn't tell him he would get mardy with me.I refused to tell him waiting until everything was perfect, so he stormed out of the house and drove off.He called me no less then minutes later and asked me to tell him again.I told him what my plan was.He said no.I'm confused, he then said he wasn't ready to be tied down, he was too young, (we are both 20) and wante dhis life. When i asked him what the yeses were all about, he just replied saying they were a joking yes, he thought i was joking and he joked along.I have no idea why he suddenly said no. He said he was expecting me to ask him when i told him there was a surprise, so it was not a complete shock to him.Any idea's on why he's acting funny?Many Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): You are just too young, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. It is wrong of him to make you feel this way however, him saying yes he'd marry you, and speaking about it a few times prior to that. Also you bought rings & roses, and were planning this surprise for him. i can imagine you must have been very hurt. I'd say you should let the man be the one to ask you to marry him. I feel like you're trying too hard.
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 He's not ready.
If I were you I would be glad he that he was honest about the engagement. You are young, just because he is not ready now doesn't mean it will never happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): Mardy - now that's a word I haven't heard for a while. Are you from Leicester?
Men can be strange creatures at times and even though I am one I cannot for the life of me think what's up with this bloke.
It's possible, I suppose, that he thought you wanted to get married straight away. But if he doesn't want to be tied down just yet there's not much you can do about that.
On behalf of the males of the species I would like to offer my (our) apologies to you on behalf of your insensitive git of a boyfriend who couldn't come up with an honest answer in the first place. At least you now know where you stand with him.
Phil
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