A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just had my retired parents(who live interstate) hang up a phone call in my ear as I criticised them for not listening,(which they dont!)?Im a shift worker and am only available to talk on phone certain times, they do not get this! and feel at times I dont call them, Untrue. I work shifts and I talk when I can.We get along when I see them (twice a year) but are not close and I never hug them (dont feel comfortable)I told them via text (twice) that I was available at a particular time and they called twice at the wrong day/time. I told my mother and father (on the phone today) they dont listen and make me angry due to this. That was a long time coming.My father was annoyed and threw the phone down at hearing this.I lost my temper at their failure to listen! They were annoyed.. i spoke firmly and said i was angry they dont listen, my mother said "Ok, better go, talk another time" Surely they can read my text and call at the right day and time This isnt my fault! Maybe i shouldnt have raised my voice but they do not listen..Now they will complain to my younger (close to perfect) sister who lives in their town.Now what?Im single and live alone and they dont get this..
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Look they are not going to get it. The have a different life and don't think when they are calling, just that they are calling there daughter. To me it seems that you resent your sister and you resent your parents. But you do need to have a bit more patience with them. My parents never listen and they call me when they know I am sleeping because I have told them I am working late. But I don't shout at them down the phone, I respect them because they are my parents. Some day you will get old as well and hopefully if you ever have children they won't shout down the phone at you. It is simple really put your phone on silent when you are working and then on a break or when you are finished call them and say Hi I was working how are you? Life is as simple or as difficult as you want to make it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): This should not bother you at all.
Your of an age where you dont have to justify yourself to your parents or analyse their and your interactions.
Be glad of the near perfect sister because she is well placed to keep an eye on mum and dad as they get older.
Believe me she will have her own faults but your folks are adept at ignoring anything that ruffles them.
Mum is trying to gloss over dads outburst.She is more than happy just to say hello a few times each year.Her family role is quite probably peacekeeper and she doesnt really want you fretting over dad.
Quite possibly they dont know how to open texts and so miss outop on all that info.
Failing that they are just getting forgetful.
So post the xmas card and pay a visit if you think its appropriate but above all just get on with your life and stop worrying about them as you are fortunate to have a sister in the locality who will let you know if their health takes a turn for the worst.
Meanwhile let them muddle along as best they can as they fortunately still have each other to talk to.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 November 2016):
 Okay, why don't you ring them when the time is suitable for you? Unless its in the middle of their night or something. They may feel they are being put on a roster, or being dictated to.
I think if one of my kids yelled at me on the phone I would be reluctant to try and talk to them again .... yes, I know you told them when they could call but it appears they didn't get the message (whether they received it or not, they didn't get the message).
Maybe text them .... hi, I just got off shift (or I am heading out to work in 20 minutes), and thought I would call you before I eat dinner/shower/go for a run/go shopping/whatever .... is now a good time to call you.
And then ring them, and next time you see them do the huggy huggy thing, first few times it will feel awkward but if you start practicing now, when the time comes for the final goodbye it will feel more natural.
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