A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really confused and a little jealous..... there's this guy I started talking to at the gym, his in better shape but than me (so his not admiring my body prior) he used to stare at me a lot then we started talking... turns out we have loads in common.... at first we'd talk for ages and then one day he messaged me about a girl I was in the gym with (first time he see me with her) I told him who she was a family member who's in a relationship, then his exact words were But... I like you so I'm shutting up. We began talking for a long time when exes came up..... I'm bi and really like this guy he seems perfect, when I told him about one of my exes (a girl) getting preggers and getting rid.... he stopped talking and messaged the girl he asked me about earlier. Jealousy hit and we've had on and off conversations but nothing long... Is there a chance his bi or could we just end up being mates does he just like me as a friend or did he mean he really liked me.... He started off really chatty but now his not so much and he don't share too much personal He likes some of my social media and is always the first or second to watch my stories My friend said some of our chat was flirty from his side I just don't know.... his ex was a girl so I've figured his straight but we seem really similar so I wonder What's your thoughts
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Your ex is a girl and so is his. You are bi, and well maybe he is as well. I think sometimes it is best to just rip off the band aid quickly. Just ask him out straight if he is straight or bi?! Or you could tell him you are bi and wait for his response. He did say he liked you therefore that would suggest that he does unless it was taking out off context.
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (28 November 2016):
 His ex is a girl, but so is yours, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
The staring is a bit odd for a straight guy. I have a lot of guy friends and I can't say I've ever heard one tell another "I like you," so that seems a bit odd to me. It's kind of a given if you're hanging out with someone that you like that person's company; no need to say it directly unless you're trying to call attention to it for some reason. It's also odd that he would clam up suddenly after hearing about your female ex unless he does have some sort of interest in you (or, I suppose, some deep-seated moral objection to abortion).
Nothing you've described is really conclusive in one direction or the other, so your choices here are to ask him directly or to carry on with the friendship and see what happens (if anything). If you are out and comfortable in your identity as a bisexual person, perhaps include this in a casual conversation and see if (and how) he reacts to that information. Worst case scenario, you find out he's a bit of a homophobe and doesn't want to be friends anymore (but then you probably don't want to be friends with someone like that anyway). Best case scenario, he's interested in you as more than friends, and finding out that your preferences align gives him the green light to make that interest known.
Hope this helps you. Good luck and best wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): He's probably confused as to whether you're straight or not too,just like you are about him. If you two do get together and things go south then will you still be able to frequent the same gym? If you're OK with that scenario then mention casually that you're bi and see how he reacts. If vibes are good then just ask him out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2016): Is it possible that after you spoke to him about an ex girlfriend, he now thinks you're straight?
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