A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and i have a problem that im trying to do something about. I really want a gf but i have never had one before when ever i go out places or go on holiday i see couples together and i get really jelous and think why is this never me?. I go out clubbing and stuff with my friends and i never end up meeting any girls, so i gave up going out hoping that i would meet somebody. Im quite a quiet guy and nervous but once i get to know somebody im ok with them. I just want a gf to go out and do activities with together that would be my dream. I dont know how to go about this i have even tried looking online ive been on dating sites but there isnt anybody in my area its only a small town where i live. I have tried sepaking to girls on myspace and stuff like that and when i try to make conversation they just dont want to know me. This is really starting to depress me and i dont know where to look and personally i dont think im asking for alot.Also which would be a little help i dont know what to really talk about to a girl apart from how are you? what you been up to etc? so some advice on starting conversation would be a big help.Thanks
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (12 October 2008):
you boys sound perfect for a friend of mine. she is 22, has never had a bf or even a date. so there are girls out there with the same situation.
the best thing to do is just be yourself, please take it from me when you are out clubbing DO NOT touch a girls ass! there's nothing worse then that. i hate it! if you see a girl you like just casually go up to her and maybe ask if she would like a drink or a dance, if she says no just move on to someone else. no girl likes a guy who won't take no as an answer. they are so annoying and really unsexy! so be yourselves, date my friend..PLEASE.lol.
A
male
reader, Crafter  +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Having the same problem here. I could give you some pointers though.Meeting girls:I'm as blank as a page here. All I know is that clubs are no longer what they were cracked up to be. No matter how hard I've tried, I never really met a girl there. There is the noise, the people, the tension, the alcohol... Nah. What I recommend is finding a social group. I started going to drawing classes and it did wonders for me. Find something you like to do. Sports, music, reading... Once you do, you're gonna meet many people. And don't be quick to reject guys too. Apart from being your friends they can also introduce you to girls (sisters or otherwise).You just need to be more social and more open.Conversation:So now that you've met the girl, you gotta make your move.It's a tough job sometimes, I know. But so far I can tell you that the best strategy is "keywords".Girls are generally not very chatty when on dates. They expect you to make them laugh and entertain them.Making them laugh is easy, but first you need to break the ice. How do you do that? Observe and listen to what she says. Ask her what kind of music she listens. She says "U2". Then pick up from here and swirl. "Yeah, those guys rock! You remember that song they made for Tomb Raider the movie? What was it's name?"Then ask her about the movie and so on. It's all about gliding from one subject to another. If you say something stupid or make a mess up a word... pff even better! Just give her a deep look and say "Just looking at you makes my thoughts scramble" and then smile.Here are some other basic principles from my own experience:1. Smile. I can't stress how important that is. You'll be tense and scared, but you still need to smile, no matter what. Otherwise the girl will think that you're not having a good time and something is wrong with her.2. Make constant eye contact. Even if she tries to look away, you look her in the eyes ALL THE TIME! Don't let her think that you're intimidated.3. Touch. A VERY good strategy is to touch her when you make her laugh. Just a quick hug with one arm will do. To you it might not be a big deal, but she'll start seeing stars. I don't know why, but girls really seem to make a big deal of body contact.4. Do not apologize. If you trip and push her don't go saying "Sorry. Are you ok?" instead act surprised and say "Wow! Whatcha doing?" and then smile. All in all, make her feel like she is a close friend of yours. After that it gets easier. Breaking the ice is really the hardest part.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (12 October 2008):
 You really need to just find the common ground you share with a girl, and go from there. Like if you both like a certain type of films etc.
It's all about sussing out what you have in common.
If some girls aren't interetsed, just move on straight away.
You have to remember aswell that online, especially Myspace, you get alot of random guys chatting up girls, that's why I came off Myspace.
You're probably giving off the vibe that you're not interested when you go out etc, as you said you now just assume you won't meet anyone. Try to make eye contact, smile etc :) xx
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