A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi!So I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now, and I really like him and he really likes me. Now the problem is, as much as I like him, I really can't feel close to him. Like, it barely feels like we're in a relationship! It's not as though we're not close really, we talk 24/7 see each other regularly and we are physically intimate, but there's just something weird in my head stopping me from feeling close.I feel like I don't know him as much as I do, but I guess there is a lot to a person and it takes a long time to learn everything, right? But I don't know, it's like we're friends that kiss, rather than lovers.I'm wondering if it's because neither of us are overly romantic or express feelings that much? Like, I want to do that stuff and I'm totally able to, but because he doesn't do it I feel like he'd feel awkward if I did, or that it's still too early to be soppy.He told me he loves me a couple of weeks ago, and to be honest, I was shocked, I feel like it's too early for that. I said it back though because I didn't know what else to do, which I kinda regret now but it's done. Neither of us has said it since, it's like he forgot he came out with it.We've had sex and we're intimate like that so I don't think that's an issue. What do you think it is that is making me feel so distant?Thanks! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (11 June 2014):
 Hi,
I think 4 months is too soon to be jumping to the boyfriend/girlfriend issue and you need to start with being friends and I mean really friends, not just hanging out whenever you feel like it.
4 months and being 16/17 and having sex already is a bad way to go. You have found out the hard way that being boyfriend and girlfriend takes chemistry and you two just don't have it.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (11 June 2014):
Maybe the MAGIC is not there that special link that turns friendship into love.The question you have to ask yourself is .Would you prefer him as a friend ONLY.Best Wishes NORA B.
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