A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why don't I get approached by guys?I've been single most of my life and haven't really been in a proper relationship yet. I used to be really shy , now I'm still shy but not as shy. I don't know if I come across aloof or quiet. I do remember one time one of my friends was with a guy at the time and he randomly asked me if I was shy that I seemed it . I didn't think I was shy at that particular time. I am usually bad at eye contact and avoid it and normally I go out not wanting to be approached. My friends usually get approached they're more outgoing than me though.Whenever I'm out no matter where nightclubs, university ,pubs. I wouldn't really get approached. I've only been approached a few times by really pushy guys. I have been approached by a few nice guys but usually it's only the really pushy/creepy guys or older guys.Once I did join a dating website just to see and I did get messages from guys and they all said I seemed nice and different from other girls. I met 6/7 of them in about 3 months. The dates went good even though I didn't see them again. I wasn't shy at the dates I was quite confident.Which leads me to think maybe I seem more approachable online but in person I give off a different vibe? What can I do to change this? I am becoming less shy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm actually not that shy all the time it's only occasionally. And when I have met up with guys I haven't been awkward I've been really friendly , talkative and confident. (At least I think so) I'm not on the site anymore. I do talk quite a lot it's only in big group situations where I would appear awkward.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (28 March 2013):
You may need to work on your social skills, I'm sure that's what it is.
I went out with a very pretty and nice girl one time. BUT she was just too much work; she didn't talk very much unless prompted, and then it was short boring answers. There were other issues as well, but that was the deal breaker. We had one date and I never asked her out again.
I'd say that you can either work on your social skills or say to yourself that you're fine with the way you are and you just need to find a good guy that likes awkward girls. You may want to add that to your online dating profile since that's a big part of who you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can be quite socially awkward I think I seem more aloof maybe I don't give off the same kinda energy as my friends.
I do usually try and avoid eye contact with guys in clubs sometimes though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): OP I used to have a friend who was very attractive but incredibly shy. She used to say "nobody chats me up, nobody eyes me up, nobody ever comes on to me, flirts with me..." the truth was that men were showing out to her all the time. People assumed we were a couple but men still showed off, smiled and tried hard to attract her attention. Yet she was oblivious!!! maybe its the same for you?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 March 2013):
Are you socially awkward?
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