| A
male
age
36-40,
*rustratedFil
writes: Dear cupid, why doesn't my gf want to have full sex with me? i am a 21yr old guy and my gf is 20, we have been going out for nearly 2 years and get on great except with sex. we have being doing oral and masturbation and nearly everything except for sex since about 2 months into our relationship but whenever i try to go further she always stops me. we have tried a few times and i try to be as gentle as i can but she always stops me after about 5 mins because she says it hurts. She has said she had sex with her last bf so why not me? i have been patient (2 years) and don't nag her about it but i don't see why she doesn't want to? Please Help Me Somebody!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, passthechocolate +, writes (4 January 2007):
Perhaps she has some sort of underlying issue she is not telling you about. Is she afraid of an infection or pregnancy. Has one of these happened with her ex? Even more importantly, has something in her past made her afraid of penetration? The most important thing in relationships is to be completely open and honest about your feelings. make her feel comfortable first by sharing some of your insecurities and fears and maybe she will be more open to share hers.
A
female
reader, forgetmenot +, writes (31 December 2006):
 There's a lot of different reasons that she mightn't want to and you really won't know unless you talk to her. She might regret having gone so far with her ex. For some people it takes having sex for the first time (or first few times) to come to the conclusion you're not really ready. People have a lot of different ideas about sex and have a lot of emotions caught up around it. Ask her what her feelings about sex are. Ask her if something she might want for you two in the future together. Ask her open questions without nagging or accusing about what role she feels sex plays in people lives and in your lives together and maybe consider asking her (if you honestly think you can see the past as being the past and not something that might make you jealous) about how her previous relationships have shaped her current veiws about sex cos that's where a lot of your answers might lie. Good luck
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A
female
reader, lena +, writes (30 December 2006):
 it may be painfull for her, try buying some lube and see if it helps with the pain, give her time, she will eventually want it.
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