A
female
age
51-59,
*llheart39
writes:Hi,I am a 39 year old woman and have been in a gay relationship for 4 years with another woman of 43. When we first started out everything was perfect.As time went by she kept accusing me of having an affair or sleeping with every single friend or person i spoke to, which really did my head in. I am a clean living woman, who has only ever had 3 relationships, my body is pure and the stuff she used to come out with used to make me feel dirty about myself. Anyway, because she was so abusive and on 3 times violant i stopped sleeping with her because i could not find the closeness with her. I told her this that she must stop going on at me and then i can warm to her again, but it didnt stop her. Her answer was that i wasnt sleeping with her because i was having an affair, this is so untrue. I was sexually abused at a younger age, so the last thing on my mind would be sleeping with everyone that crossed my path!!One of my arguments with her was that i do so much for her and her 15 year old daughter and i get little or nothing back from her. I asked her to start making me feel special and that i was loved, valued and respected but still nothing has happened. If i were to tell you that i live 40 minutes from her house and she has not once in 4 years got on a bus or train to come and see me, what would you say? She does not work in the day, she does 8 hours a week teaching in the evenings (2 hours per night, Mon to Thursday), so she has plenty of time on her hands I have kept hanging in there waiting for her to prove herself to me, but still nothing has happened. I do have a car so it is easier for me, but my argument with her is that she can spend 8 hours on a bus to see her ex (when she was with her, who treated her bad), she can get a train to London all hours of the day and night, put all her energies into her students, but there is nothing left for me.I had a lot of confidence when i went into this relationship and i am slowly getting it back, but she has made me feel dirty, worthless and un-appreciated.Everything is always my fault, she has never once taken the blame or apologised for any of her nastiness, but why do i feel so guilty just asking for such a simple request?
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affair, confidence, her ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, allheart39 +, writes (8 October 2007):
allheart39 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for taking the time out to reply peoriaman, its much appreciated
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