A
female
age
36-40,
*har02
writes:I am 26, and am/was dating a 43 year old. I normally tend to date guys younger than me or my same age, but figured I'd try something different this time. Anyways, he has basically been living with me the past 2 months and has never offered anything for any of my bills. Now, i'm a single mother of 2, I'm not struggling really, but my children and I get by. We were trying to make up because of an argument about a sex video of his ex-wife that he has on his phone and refuses to delete. He argues that i have a sex video of an ex, but it's not like it's on my phone and i'm not in contact with my ex, like he is. The other night, he asks if I wanted to drink and watch a movie. He goes to get the drinks and comes back 10 mins later and says, now he's going to a friends' house for a few drinks, but he'll be back. 5 hours later, he wasn't back. I text him and told him to just stay wherever he was at that night. Mind you, this is the 2nd time he's done that to me. I don't mind him going out with friends, but if you say you're gonna come back, then come back or if not, let me know. That's only fair. Then all the next day, he ignored me. Finally I told him, I just want my keys back and he can get his clothes and be done with it all. He says he wants to call me later that night cuz he wants to talk. Am I overreacting to the video and him staying out all night? Should I apologize or does he have every right to be upset with me? I tried to put as many details in as possible. Any other questions just ask. Please help!!
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ex-wife, his ex, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (28 August 2011):
I would go look at each of my kids and tell them as a woman that im sorry. (this will not happen again). I'll promise both of them that as their moter i would protect each of them from phyical and emotional abuse as humanly possible.I would change the locks on my doors then go collect his thing and set them on the outside. I'll tell him to collect them if he wishes too. Case after case of kids being found (as heart breaking as it is) mostly women bring in men on their helpless kids. Never bring a man into your home until he has work his way into it. This could take years to accomplish depending on how much you regards your child safety. You having a revolving door for the next dad is doing irreverasable damanages to ur children. I bet there future relationships would be broken by what they see as kids. Think of them b4 you think of urself.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 August 2011):
 this is not about his age. this is about his character which sucks. time to move on in my opinion
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (8 August 2011):
 Hi,
1) Can't delete video?
2) Don't call when out?
3) Don't help w/bills?
He has an odd behavior for 43 years old man, more like 21? You can do better, let the old, weird dude go.. Don't need someone like him in your life...
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, lerato29  +, writes (8 August 2011):
 taking the keys back its a good idea,his using you just tel him to move out no discission,if you allow him to talk his going to convince you dont allow him
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (8 August 2011):
 Your boyfriend is taking advantage of you. You haven't said anything to him, but he doesn't hear that tiny voice in his head telling him it would be nice to help you out once in a while. It's good that you kicked him out and it was the best thing to do. If he's involved with you and has been allowed to live in your home, then there should be no reason why he can't delete the video. Something doesn't seem right since he can't delete something intimate that involves someone he's no longer involved with. This guy is playing with your head and isn't being as serious about this as you are. I would move on, not let him back in, and find someone else.
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