A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I''m a male who has aspergers syndrome, something I had when I was born which is considered a form of brain damage, ive had some form of therapies to help and been to doctors, my parents are at the end of their tether with me. I forget things and I'm not as bright or as clever as other people are, because of my condition I find things difficult such as being in group with people, depending on the crowds and the numbers, and I'm not as focussed at work, and this has led to me being sacked and being bullied for something I can't help. my parents went abroad on holiday to have a relaxing time, and while my mums away she normally calls to see how I am and what ive been up to, and she would start asking me questions about what ive done with the money she's left for the care and what I did with it and I wasn't allowed to access my account while she was away, so she could keep a track of it, even though I didn't have my book I used my passport to get my wages and the money I get frI'm the social, this helps with my wages as a top up and is used for living indepenly as ive a condition my mum thinks I'm lying and putting on the water works, ive told her why I did it and why but she won't by it and is threatening me with holidays abroad which I'm not into because of my autism and don't want to be classed as a baby. What should I do?
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at work, bullied, money, on holiday Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2017): social worker, yes. no, according to my mum I can't.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2017): To be deemed without capacity .. a doctor or a social worker may form an opinion, but it’s just that an opinion. To actually be made incapacitated mentally there 3 different types. Only a court can grant that for someone to be named as guardian to an individual. However if your mother was granted guardian of your finances, she then could legal withhold or make you accountable for what you are doing with the money itself. However if you have never been to a solicitor or court then your mother cannot do this. So don’t feel guilty. (It's) I’ve eyour money as long as you're covering your bills, the rest is yours to spend. You are very high (on the) spectrum with the wording of your post, so you clearly have abilities. What you need to do is look at the areas which need adjusting. Why you say lose your job and put in ways to make sure you do not. Don’t put yourself down though. You can learn from your mistakes and progress.
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A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (28 October 2017):
You're 30+ and your parents are being a bit overearing by the sound of it. I would contact the autistic society and see what help or support groups are on offer where you are. Also there is a website called wrong planet with a lot of good resources on there. It's not your fault and any issues can be resolved. I hope you find support soon
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2017): I have a companion who takes me out as part of my care, my mum seems to think so.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (28 October 2017):
Oh, also forgot to ask.... you said the money your mother left you was for "care". What kind of care do you receive - do you have a personal carer?
Are you deemed to have "capacity" (the ability to make your own decisions) or has a doctor or social worker ever deemed you as not having capacity.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2017): I have a social worker, the extra money was for food as there was very little to have from the fridge and freezer, no. with parents at present.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (28 October 2017):
Hi,
Before I give you a full reply, I'd like to ask a couple of questions, if I may.....
a) why DID you need the extra money if your mother left you money to cover your expenses?
b) Did you ask this question before?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/being-threatened-by-loved-ones-if-i-stop.html
c) Do you have a social worker?
d) Where are you currently living? With your mother or in your own place?
I'm really busy over the next few days but I'll try to post a proper reply tomorrow or the day after.
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