A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I have dated 3 guys (and have kissed all of the ) and the guy I am with at the moment is my first love, we have kissed many times but my heart doesn't race like his does. The first guy I dated took my first kiss, and I am my current boyfriends fist girlfriend. When we kiss my heart doesn't race, I get happy and excited but I don't have the adrenaline rush. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but it bothers me that my heart doesn't beat faster when we kiss. Can anyone tell me why my heart doesn't race when I kiss him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (22 April 2018):
 Different people respond in different ways to different events. Don't start building a fantasy or comparing how you may respond to kissing someone else to feel confident in it. Don't allow Hollywood to hoodwink you into how infatuation or love should feel. You said that you feel happy and excited, I think that should be good enough, some people feel uncomfortable or nervous, others don't feel anything at all but still know they love their significant other.
Don't allow what you "think" should happen to interfere with "what is" happening with your boyfriend.
All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2018): Don't romanticize or idealize what love is; and don't confuse fantasy with reality.
Careful how you throw the word love around; because you obviously have a glamorized notion of what love is, and how you're supposed to respond to a kiss. Either you like the kiss or you don't!
Maybe he's just more excited about you than you are about him.
Isn't happy and excited good enough? Maybe you're just in-love with being in-love. You need a more adult-perspective on the concept of love and romance. It's not about valentines and butterflies.
You are serial-dating, one guy behind the other. You're going through so many guys so fast; you don't know what you feel. Your heart hasn't caught-up with you!
You're on some kind of mission or quest to find some romance novel love-affair. You're an adult. Focus on the real stuff. Kindness, gentleness, warmth, respect, sensuality, and affection. Racing-hearts don't mean diddly-squat; and if you're still in a little-girl's world of make-believe, you've got some growing-up to do.
Do you even really care about the guy? It doesn't seem you do; because you're looking for something unrealistic, and proves nothing about how you really feel about someone.
Seems you're not really attracted to him; you're just pretending.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 April 2018):
 Because you have had 3 previous boyfriends? Because you feel "safe" with him? Because love is not all about racing hearts and stomach butterflies?
Do yo find him sexually attractive? Do you truly love him? Then stop focusing on something which is only temporary and superficial and concentrate on the important aspects of your relationship.
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