A
age
41-50,
*
writes: Well, I have a problem in my life that's actually driving me crazy. I'm a gay man and I had a boyfriend. We were together for 5 years. I really loved him, but in the last year our relationships somehow became very tense, we were arguing often. Because of that and some other reasons I broke up with him. I think it was better for both of us. But the thing is that my ex doesn't leave me alone. We have many mutual friends so we happen to meet each other quite often. I would like to start relationships with some other guy, but I just can't do it, because my ex is interfering all the time. As he notices I'm starting to get well with some guy, he starts to tell this guy all the bad things about me. Some of them are true, some not. He just scares away all my potential boyfriends. They believe him because they know he knows me better than they do. Once he told that I have HIV, which is not true. Of course, the guy ran away from me. I've asked him why the hell is he doing it. He was like " I just don't want other people to get involved with an idiot like you". Actually usually I don't talk with him at all, it is always him who starts talking with me. I don't understand why is he so frustrated. So why does he have to mess with my life? I wish him all the best, but why can't he just go somewhere, live his life and let me live mine? It really pisses me off.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2012): I'm sorry, this sounds like a right nightmare. He's obviously not OK with you moving on so he's sabotaging every effort you make. Very immature of him. He really needs to just piss off doesn't he.
Well, you've asked him once and he's given a spiteful response. Let him stew in his own juices. I'd blank him from now on and try and meet people in a different circle. I don't know how possible that would be but surely once you've got to know someone a little bit, even if they do encounter your ex at a later date, they will believe what they know of your character over what a stranger tells them.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (28 September 2012):
Once he has someone new his interest in your life will wane. Go round telling everyone how great HE is and someone will get matched up with him. They will be playing the happy couple and you will have some peace. Voila.
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