A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The guy i have dated for about a month told me he couldnt meet me very much right now because his exam coming up in about 3 weeks.. He's in med-school, so I know he has a lot to do. Still I got a bit upset.. He couldnt tell when we were going to see eachother, we had to just take it from day to day as he said. He said we could be together a lot in the summer. That doesnt bother me. I have exams to, and I actually rather not seeing him before i end my exams so i can focus on them and not on him (dating is stressing me in a good way - but still its stressing). But what bother me is that i want us to stay in touch. I havent heard from him in 5 days now. He said we should talk in the end of the week, and maybe set up a date, but at least talk as he said. He said he absoulutely wanted to see me again, but he had a lot to do!! But i want to talk to him so that we can clear up a lot of things, but I thik he should be the one initiate contact! Or am I wrong? This is stressing me out!!
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female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (8 May 2011):
I was going to suggest at MOST send a friendly text ONLY. Like "hey hope you're doing well and feel ready for the exam. I can't wait for mine to be over".
Then. That's it.
As the previous poster suggested, you don't want to be needy and you need to take at face value that he is swamped.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 May 2011):
 He's assured you that he absolutely wants to be in touch later. Three weeks is not a huge time to get through. Could you keep busy? Get involved in your study, and anything else you can manage, so you'll have more to discuss when he meets up with him again.
Who knows? At the weekend he may contact you. But if it slips his mind it may because he's discovered more he needs to study?
But if he suggested that he needed three weeks of intensive study in the leadup to his exams then I would take that at face value. Accept it. And give him the benefit of the doubt that in three weeks he will contact you.
If you do contact him, during the three week period he may be polite. But after the call has finished he may reflect on you being more needy or more insecure than he imagined. And wonder if you have less empathy about his current situation than he tought?
Exams are very stressfull, and he may prefer to concentrate exclusively on passing his exams. I recall that I would even arrange babysitting when I really needed to concentrate during an especially intense study period. Or my parents in law would take over for a week, assistance I sincerely appreciated.
I believe that if you give him a clear break that he will likely note your empathy and understanding in leaving him in peace to study.
He's regarding his preparation for this exam as his preparation for his future career. A crucial period of time for him. Requiring no distractions. Nothing is more important than passing this exam, for him. Otherwise his time spent attending lectures etc has been a easte of time.
Some guys compartmentalize and prioritize better than others. The former can be irritating, but the latter is a very important skill for anyone. Especially a Doctor.
Good luck with your studies and your exams. Try to remain patient for a tiny bit longer, if you can. A less invasive contact may be to post him a card wishing him the best for his impending exams. But he may not even find time to read it until hiis exams are over. It is your call. Best wishes with this issue
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