A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've wrote a couple of times before about me and my ex being friends. Anyway a couple of weeks ago we had a conversation he said that he sometimes got the feeling that I didn't think he'd stay mates and I said that I got the feeling he thought that I still want more from him. To cut a long story short I didn't hear anything from him after that, he didn't even say if that was true or not. Anyway I ended up sending quite a few texts over a few days asking him what he really thinks and does he want to stay mates. And that I'm sorry for being such a pain in the rear end.I know that this could look obsessive and sent him a text last week saying that I really hope that in the future we'll be able to talk and be ok. I also said that I was gonna delete his number so that I can't contact unless he does 1st. He never answered and still hasn't and I know that that tells me he ain't interested but I really do still like him. I know his number in my head, but I am forcing myself not to contact him. I just wish that he would contact me at least to say that he doesn't want to keep in touch as I hate being ignored.Sorry its a long one. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiThanks for your advice. I found out today that he has gone back to his ex before me, to whom he has a child with. He had been texting/ phoning me and being flirty with me since he starting seeing heer again. Its only since I said I don't want to be anything more than mates that he's stopped. She read his mobile and found a text I'd sent and had a go at him, asking why he's still in touch with me. This ties up wuith around the time he stopped.I've tried phoning today, but no answer so text saying that if he's just told me that she didn't want us to keep in touch I would've respected that and left it. Said its a shame but I hope that they're happy.I am annoyed that he didn't tell me that they were together I would've found out sometime and it would've been better hearing it from him, rather than just being ignored but at least I know now, and I can stop worrying about it.Thanks again for your help x
A
male
reader, Guitarboy  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Sometimes the answer is not so much what is being said, but what isn't being said. You're ex is speaking volumes by simply ignorning your persistant questions. He may not mind the idea of being friends but it doesn't sound like he wants to be that close anymore. He's ready to move on and he may already be seeing someone else he's interested in. My advise to you is to do the same. Move on, start seeing someone else. Remaining friends with and "ex" keeps you living, breathing, thinking about the past and not the future. Let go and move on. The more you persist the more you are dragging out the torture of the inevitable pain you will continue to feel by his distance. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, neonpinkngooey  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 some people get weirded out when exes try to stay friends. he could be one of them. maybe hes trying to hint that he doesnt care to be your friend. dont pursue his friendship if he doesnt want yours. also, if you werent friends before your relationship, its probably better not to be friends after it. there are plenty of potential friends out there, anyway.
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