A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why does everyone hate me? I spent my whole life in the closet. All the time as soon as I said a dude was cute someone wanted to hook us up! Or they said I NEEDED a boyfriend "just because". I hated kissing boys!So I tried that and thought bc I didn't like it (even kissing boys made me want to get sick) I must be a lesbian. But all my friends were Christian and hated that so I couldn't see if I liked it. NEVER told them i might be gay. I went to college and came out as bi thinking I could try it with a girl to see if I liked it but since my parents are paying and only let me go to the college my Christian cousin went to I couldn't be LOUD and outSo I thought they would be real accepting but they hate me! I'm not OUT and political about it AND since I'm bi that means I will cheat but since I have no experience I an just bi curious. Christian friends found out I have gay friends and now will NOT let it go. I can't tell them to go away since I was raised you don't do that plus my cousin threatened to tell my parentsMagazineSo virtually everyone hates me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2016): I don't think virtually everyone hates you. I think you just expected more support than you got. With the LGBT community, bisexuals are often looked at with suspicion, fair or not. No, you are no more likely to cheat anymore than you would if you liked blondes and brunettes. The thing is, it would be painful to be cheated on and more so with the gender opposite of yours. There is maybe a fear that you will never be fully satisfied with either gender. There is the stereotype that young girls only say they're bi to get more male attention. Additionally, you ARE bi curious because your sole intent is to get sexual experience with a girl! What if you tried it and hated it too? Then would you say you're asexual? That experimenting you want to do is on a PERSON with feelings. Some would let you but they could easily use that as leverage, "I'll tell your cousin about you if you don't XYZ" true of any gender, really. Shoot, same thing if you wanted to try weed or getting drunk.With your family, they don't sound supportive at all but seem more the type to try to control you rather than abandon you. You're age says 22+, why did you start college so late? Are you in the dorms? Or living with that cousin? Since your parents are paying, they probably want their money's worth and therefore want you to keep each other accountabu (no alcohol, drugs or sex so many young people fall prey to) I realize you don't like being closeted for so long but it's best to wait until you're FULLY independent. By then, you will be able to control whose in your home, who your friends are and where you're going. Sounds like your family will not be giving you that anytime soon. I would if I were you, keep it on the back burner until they have nothing to hold over your head. You can stand up to your friends/cousin by saying, "I'm not using drugs or alcohol and I'm passing all my classes." If that's true anyway. What if you were honest? Would your family pull support and force you to move home or (worse) kick you out completely and shun you?
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 It is terrible that you feel stuck in an environment where you feel hated.I think you need to save up some money, move to a new college somewhere else far from your current social circle, or learn a trade and get a job somewhere else far away.Your current environment will not be accepting of you. It has nothing to do with you as a person, but everything to do with their inability to see past their prejudice.Independence from that circle is your answer here.Use what education you have, and talents you have, to make a living on your own.And by the way, being bi does not automatically mean you will cheat on anyone.Perhaps you need to spend some time learning about sexuality...maybe a career as a social worker or in psychology in the area of sexuality might be a good move for you.I wish you peace. You deserve peace.-Frank
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