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Which future do I choose?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Online dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 May 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i have a slight dilemma , im an independent woman who doesnt rely on a man i have had lots of times being single. anyway 3 months ago i split with my boyfriend we agreed we would be better as friends , we even agreed to be friends with benefits , however i went on a dating site met a guy had some great dates my ex knew of this but now my ex said to me do i want to try again , im wondering if he only said this because he knew id been seeing another guy for a couple of dates and is jealous and sees what hes lost. The thing is in my ex's future he wants marriage and kids where as the new guy doesnt . i would like a couple of kids im not getting any younger im 39. Do i just see how things go with both guys as in have a couple more dates with them both and then decide , i do like them both the same they both have good and bad points and if i could mould them together theyd make my perfect guy , so do i see them both a couple more times or go back to my ex who wants the same as me but is slow about things or try something fresh with the new guy who id always hope would change his mind and want a kid ?

View related questions: friend with benefits, jealous, my ex

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (8 May 2016):

Dionee' agony auntI agree with the other aunts. Start afresh OP. This isn't a test where the answer is either A or B, there is also both (what you find as an option until you choose one) and neither (which I strongly suggest you go with). It seems as though because of your age you'd rather just settle than see starting over as an option. You deserve a better man that's right for you, not just an ok one that will be an ok partner.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (8 May 2016):

mystiquek agony auntI suggest option #3...start all over again with a new man. Why date an ex when it didn't work the first time? Why date a man who doesn't want what you want and you already know this? Do not make the mistake that many people make..dating/marrying a person thinking/hoping that they will change. The odds are that they aren't going to change. People change because they WANT to..not because YOU want them to. There's too many men out there..find a man who is what you want, and you don't have to combine 2 men to get him. Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI say neither.

Why bother date a guy who doesn't want the same as you do? I mean, why settle?

And WHY go back to an ex when it OBVIOUSLY didn't work before as a couple?

Maybe you need to stop having sex with the ex, and then LOOK around and see what else is out there.

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