A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have a slight dilemma , im an independent woman who doesnt rely on a man i have had lots of times being single. anyway 3 months ago i split with my boyfriend we agreed we would be better as friends , we even agreed to be friends with benefits , however i went on a dating site met a guy had some great dates my ex knew of this but now my ex said to me do i want to try again , im wondering if he only said this because he knew id been seeing another guy for a couple of dates and is jealous and sees what hes lost. The thing is in my ex's future he wants marriage and kids where as the new guy doesnt . i would like a couple of kids im not getting any younger im 39. Do i just see how things go with both guys as in have a couple more dates with them both and then decide , i do like them both the same they both have good and bad points and if i could mould them together theyd make my perfect guy , so do i see them both a couple more times or go back to my ex who wants the same as me but is slow about things or try something fresh with the new guy who id always hope would change his mind and want a kid ?
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friend with benefits, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 I agree with the other aunts. Start afresh OP. This isn't a test where the answer is either A or B, there is also both (what you find as an option until you choose one) and neither (which I strongly suggest you go with). It seems as though because of your age you'd rather just settle than see starting over as an option. You deserve a better man that's right for you, not just an ok one that will be an ok partner.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 I suggest option #3...start all over again with a new man. Why date an ex when it didn't work the first time? Why date a man who doesn't want what you want and you already know this? Do not make the mistake that many people make..dating/marrying a person thinking/hoping that they will change. The odds are that they aren't going to change. People change because they WANT to..not because YOU want them to. There's too many men out there..find a man who is what you want, and you don't have to combine 2 men to get him. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 May 2016):
 I say neither.
Why bother date a guy who doesn't want the same as you do? I mean, why settle?
And WHY go back to an ex when it OBVIOUSLY didn't work before as a couple?
Maybe you need to stop having sex with the ex, and then LOOK around and see what else is out there.
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